A happy new year to all..hope 2012 brings happiness to everyone..that said,I will get down to how I feel.If I was to choose my mood, I'd say depressed, frustrated, angry, lonely and sad. That's been my first day of 2012. Its now the second day, its a little after midnight.I don't think I have ever needed support like I do right now. My best friend who is the only person who knows my status has been back home for about a week now. He leaves tomorrow. I have seen him twice, both times rather briefly because he has “other commitments”. He knows how much I need him but he seems to give all of 2 shits about me. I have been struggling to keep it together lately because of other things that have been happening as well but his total disregard for me is what baffled me the most. I had what I think was a panic attack a few nights ago and I called him hysterically..he did not pick up his phone. Even after texting him, he ignored me. I don't know who he is anymore.. This was a person I'd talk to all day, everyday and we were in different continents! A friendship I thought would survive all odds..I guess I was delusional! I trusted this guy fully. He knows everything there is to know about me. He had promised to be there for me always.I know I need to let him go and I truelly want to but I literally have no one else. I have been looking for support groups locally but still no luck. Apparently I don't handle stress as well as I thought I did coz I have dropped some weight(I now look like a swim suit model..that's not always a good thing coz being African, I love my ass lol!) I'm scared my health will start failing sooner than later. My appetite has gone to shit..and I'm not sleeping enough. I wish there was a quick fix for this but I don't see any..I'm open to suggestions from anyone. Thing is, I know I'm a strong person and I will get past this but it would really help to have some support. I'm not on any meds yet and I want to keep it that way for as long as possible. Losing my best friend is taking a toll on me. What can I do to stay healthy and reduce the stress? I gatta find a local support group soon.. I'm an extrovert being forced to become an introvert. In short I feel really really sad..I'm in a bad place and I'm all alone.