This is it.

So, I'm going to do my best for this to be my last negative blog post for awhile. I don't know if I'm going to try to list things I'm thankful for each day or what. I know I need to write, I know I need this outlet, but I don't want to drag anyone down with my rants. I know that's what this is for, but maybe it will help me pull through this episode to write positive things?

Anyway, my anxiety got the best of me today. I am the assistant manager at the salon I work at, along with one other girl. Our boss was the area manager, that's why our shop needed two assistants, as she was gone 3-4 days of the week. Well, our boss took an almost two month leave of absence and has now decided to quit. I figured the other girl was going to get promoted as she's been there and in that position a few months longer than myself, and I was totally fine with that. Until she told me that corporate was coming in to interview us to choose "fairly." I got pretty excited, I've been working pretty hard and try to bury myself in work especially when I'm ultra depressed. And then our corporate manager emailed the other girl about some people we were going to hire (that I did the interviews for) and asked her to join the managers conference call on Monday, but she didn't ask me. Hopes shattered. Why would they even interview me? I was understanding and okay with thinking she was more deserving of the job, if they knew they were going to give it to her they shouldn't have even pretended like I had a chance. I would have been understanding if they did it for seniority reasons. That's cool.

I guess I could be over thinking it. The SO thinks I am, that's for sure. He won't even let me talk about it anymore tonight. I tried to explain to him that anxiety and depression give you racing thoughts, he doesn't understand. He must be so frutstrated by now.

Okay. I need to stop doing this to myself. Last negative post, for as long as I can help it. Bear with me, friends.

1 Comment
  1. StefaniePaige 5 years ago

    Delane, thank you again so much for your kind words. I appreciate them and am definitely taking them to heart. <3 You are an amazing person and I really appreciate everything you've had to say to me and your support.

    mmt, thank you again. That meant a lot. Sometimes I guess I feel like I'm being negative even by letting people know what happened in my day. And I agree, I even answer calls and emails while I'm at home, I'm constantly working and doing the work of a manager I need to start acting like an assistant and then I'll feel more fulfilled I think. I won't be as stressed out. And thank you! I appreciate that, that's a huge compliment! Thank you thank you.
     

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