Hi, this is my first blog.  I have panic disorder with agoraphobia and depression.  I've been in therapy for two  years and have been on countless meds.  I haven't been able to work for the last year and a half because of my panic attacks.  I left a very good job because of it.  I stay home most of the time.  I'm able to go to the Dr and Therapist, they are close by.  I do not drive.  That ability was taken from me about three years ago.  I can go to restaurants if they're close by.  I can go to some grocery stores if they're not too big.  I have to take xanax to go to Walmart though.  I usually have to have someone I feel safe with to come with me.  Tomorrow is my birthday, 45!  I can't believe I'm this old (I know it's relative lol).  I still feel 22.  My oldest daughter got married a year ago and is expecting her first child in a month.  I'll be a grandmother very soon.  My youngest is a senior in high school and we're going through the applications for colleges.  So many changes in my life, sighhhhh.  My marriage has been iffy for 20 years, but I'm afraid of change.  I got married because of pregnancy.  He's a good man, but not one I would've married if I weren't pregnant.  I sometimes wonder what my life would've been had I not had that happen.  But I wouldn't change being a mother to my girls for anything.  They're my world.  Life was wonderful when they were little.  They needed me so much and I needed them so much.  It's sad when they grow up.  Anyway, that's pretty much all about me.  Anyone in a situation close to mine is more than welcome to write to me and tell me about your experiences.  Thanks for reading.