so its been well over a year since ive been on here…. so i need to start blogging more, maybe it might help some! 🙂

well my senior year went really really well!!! i had very little stress. i only had 3 classes. went to the career tech center for web and game programming, and i loved it! I will be attending my community college for web design!! i am very excited to start!! 🙂

I did cheerleading, but when i came time for softball, i just got really depressed and was always really tired and took like 3 or 4 hours long of a nap after school. so i quit softball, even though it was really hard. the coaches seemed to be more about winning then having fun and learning. and when i play a sport, yes im going to give my all, and when we win thats awesome but if the coaches make it all about winning it takes the fun away from it and i dont like that.

my great grandma died last july and my grandpa almost three years ago at the end of augest. so i have had a really hard time with that! even though its been over a year and almost 3 years, ive just have a hard time accepting it and knowing that i have to wait many many many years to see them again makes it hard. I have a hard enough time with death as it is let alone my family members dying. and since ive seen heaven is for real makes things alittle easier on me and my dying anxiety its still really hard!

I havent seen my counscelor for 2 months now until wednesday the 6th. becuase i turned 19 and the company that she was going through wont take me. but i got my insurance back and shes going through a different company, so we're hoping this all works out! she is the best counscelo ive had and it was very hard not to see her for 2 months.

I have an internship that i am doing, actually im almost done, just a few more days to go. I love the company im doing it with! they are all layed back and really nice, and willing to help me out. the only thing that has really made me question if web design os what i really want to do is when i have to do wordpress. what i really love is typing out all the html and css code, but even though word press is supposed to be user friendly, its not very friendly to me. and thats what has been the most popular there when they work with their clients. i wouldnt mind doing wordpress if there is a college class for it so i can learn all about it with out having to completly learn it on my own becuase i have a hard time learning things on my own. but other then that, the internship is going good, ive updated sites, looked over sites to make sure everything is working right and took notes on things that i thought needed to be fixed or added which is fun. and ive also done a lot of spreed sheets — which is no fun at all!!

I am also having a hard time accepting the fact that i have to grow up and pay bills and stuff. i just want to live with my mom and dad and not grow up at all. but theres also a part of me that wants to grow up and move out. but i have such a hard time saving money becuase i hang out with my friends a lot and by stuff that i have a hard time putting it away. i feel that once i get a boyfriend and have a good relationship, that maybe that might help me grow up alittle more. i just want to be my mom and dads little girl for ever!!

im going to try to blog at least a few times a week, now that im starting college soon, im going to need some help getting though that if i have a hard time adgesting to it since it will be probably very different from high school. thanks for reading this! i am also open to having a anxiety texting buddy too, so message me if you are interested.