My mom used to say she couldn’t understand the name butterfly because butter doesn’t fly. She instead liked to call those beautiful flying objects flutterbys, since that’s what they do…flutter by. I miss mom. I lost her in January, and it still hurts alot. I went into the pits of hell after she died. I never thought I would miss someone so much, but here it was, this gaping hole in my life. I’ve only known one other time when I felt that empty…when my father died when I was seventeen. I watch movies and I can’t help myself sometimes….I cry. Anytime there’s a butterfly now, I cry. I think of my mom. Patch Adams tears me up. Forest Gump breaks me. And forget Andrea Bocelli’s song "The Prayer"…I am a broken dam. I know alot of people here have pain…and helping you helps me. Others love to me helps me, and that gives me strength to pass it on. It’s not how we come to the pain, it’s how we deal with it. I , unfortunately, went through some tough times after her death, and I broke, landing in a local "Rehabilitation unit". I went through three weeks of hell, and found myself abandoned by the woman who supposedly loved me. She wanted nothing more to do with me. I wanted to die. I died emotionally until one day recently, I found DT. I found people there who felt like I did. People with even bigger problems than mine. I found people who accepted me for who I was and what was wrong with me. I now am an addict…A DT addict. I find helping and listening a way to actually cure myself, and I even though movies and songs still bring tears, I know I’ll be okay. There are still flutterbys, and as long as they keep "fluttering by" my mom is with me. Thanks to all of you, and hope I can help more of you.
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Strange feeling
SadScot, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
I went out to get my daily dose of nicotine earlier and had a strange sensation, I get panic...
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Seasons
littlecloud, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Self Esteem, Weight Loss, 0
I’ve been really struggling lately, partly due to the weather, partly due to lonlieness, partly to a feeling that...
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An update on me
bluemonday23, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Relationships, 0
So I'm back to blogging again. Knew I'd need this site again when I moved to university. For those...
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The Children Will Sing
sosgirl, , Depression, Anger, Child, Depression, 0
Hey, D-tribe. Here's a song that I have a feeling many of you will like… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QqVt7UAEqk I don't know…I...
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Leaving Him
RowansRelics, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Career, Relationships, 1
My ex left me on Valentine’s Day and I’ve been in an off and on again, side piece reloading...
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Really needing some advice or insight
OctoberRain, , Depression, ADHD, Anger, Anxiety, Autism, Career, Child, 4
Okay, this may sound slighty petty or immature, but it's something that has really been bothering me and I...
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Trying to find peace.
Peyton Barnard-Crum, , Anxiety, Depression, Teens, ADHD, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Relationships, 2
This is my first blog post so, be patient with me. If you’ve seen my updates, you’d know that...
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I Am the Mess
sadviolinist, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Bipolar, Depression, Medication, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Therapy, 2
I really want to just go back to sleep right now, but I'm trying to make myself stay awake....