I guess I assumed one day I would just become happy I would not have to be on meds or go the thearpy but, the day never came. I am currently taking zoloft a very low dose I do ok most days but, having a really hard time finding a job here in california and very hard time paying bills. It is like iif it is not one problem there is another. I am a mother of a three year old and marriend and, to be honest whish I never had children I can’t do shit for him he does not even have his own room we all shar a one bed room apartment and I am sick of it. Sometimes I think it would be better if I gave my son to somone who can afford him it is breaking us so much but, my husband is ok with having nothing I mean we have food we have shelter clean cloths etc but no extras at all. I am so tried of being broke I could being a escort or a dnacer at this point only if I was not too fat lol . I can’t find a job in my field I am currently going to school but, far away from my degree my husband makes nothing without my income he is not even makinf 45% of what I was making I fell liek such a loser I swear. We have no support system both of our families are not well off and can’t help us at all have been on my own since I was 15 and freakign sick and tried of having money problems. I swear people say if you were rich you would still not be happy if you are not happy while tyou are poor well thats bullshit when I was making good $$$ I was happy I hate being a loswer I guess God does not want me to amount to who I want to be I guess I don’t deserve anything better than what I have since, something always seems to happened to take away everythign we have. I am so sick of living I really am if it was not for my husband I would just go be homeless and go shoot myself in the head I swear I am so over beign alive.
-
Another distant memory
MalKiE_D, , Depression, 0
a poem written together… seperately, by me and my soulmate who ultimately betrayed my love… YES LOVE Current mood: happy Category:...
-
Stress.
xillah, , Depression, ADHD, Child, Depression, Forgiveness, Sleep Disorders, 3
Rotton couple of days. DH and I decided to celebrate V-day the day after, b/c we both get paid...
-
Catching Up With Jane Birkin
bestwhhoes, , Depression, Career, Relationships, Religion, Suicide, 0
Catching Up With Jane Birkin Jane Birkin may be best known for her namesake Hermès bag and her scandalous...
-
Lol kind of rambly, sorry
Steph_jn, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Child, Parenting, Therapist, Weight Loss, 2
I spent the morning teaching my husband how to do laundry, helping him build an airconditioner support for the...
-
inside my head
delane1, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, OCD, Therapist, 2
Well, it all boils down to the fact that things will not change unless we/i change them. Effort has...
-
Myth busters
bummer, , Depression, Bipolar, Depression, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Religion, 1
So, on the same day, I got a triple whammy. One from here, two from another part of my...
-
Scared of my Anxiety
sadviolinist, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Therapist, Therapy, 1
Yes, this is my second blog today ~ but the first one was about my Uncle. This one is...
-
Suicide thoughts and wanting to leave….
charlotte22, , Depression, Anger, Career, Child, Depression, Relationships, Weight Loss, 1
Yesterday i had a fight with my partner. Recently i only see negative things, same yesterday. Everything he does...