I find myself loosing my temper alot more than I used to. Even small things seem to really frusturate and anoy me. I was playing a card game with my sister this afternoon, she accidentaly knocked the pen i was using out off the table and i flipped. I thought these pills were meant to keep a lid on this sort of crap?

I’m looking forward to having the drs appt on thursday so I can get some more of my meds. I’m almost out. I’m not looking forward to having to speak to him as to why I need them.

I spoke to my P.O earlier, he wanted more info as to what happened that landed me in hospital. That was a converstation that I didn’t want to have. Especially while my sister was in the room. I tried to keep it pretty crypic, he knew what I meant though which was good. I thought I had an appt with him this week, when infact its next week. I’m glad. He told me that he’d probably be able to see me for that appt then the next one will be with the new probation officer. I’m glad cause i’ll be able to talk to him about what he’ll tell the new officer. I guess he’ll be happy that i’m not drinking. I have decided that i’m not going to drink anymore. Well it was kinda decided for me also with the week in hosp, but also these meds and alcohol is not a good mix at all.

Alcohol isn’t the main cause of my issues i know this. But at least it will take it out of the equasion.

mood right now is quite a mix. I want to be there more for those who are suffering on the site. I’m just affraid that i might be having a bad day that day also. Would I have the guts to say "no sorry i can’t help you today".. I don’t think so.

I’m rocking out to anything metal right now. I like angry music when i’m angry.