I finally talked to Dan, what an ass!!! He's was busy, so busy he couldn't even take 5 minutes to phone me to let me no he wasn't coming, he apparently forgot we had plans with friends tonight, asshole, so finally we spoke at 7pm this evening, and he's coming tomorrow, WHATEVER!!!!!!! He new he was going to be busy today, asshole! He comes and goes whenever he wants and I mean like the last time he was here for a week or more then he came downstairs to moms and was leaving, no discussion, nothing, he left knowing I needed to go to the store and have no way to go, so mom and I were left with no food to speak of, nothing for dinner, but I took care of it, asshole!!!! I'm so worn out from ppl whom need to go to school on basic 101 on how to treat someone. I was very unhappy not rude though but my voice was shaking and I told him he hurt me, has he called to say anything nope, probably wont hear from him tonight, I no in my heart if someone is hurt with me I try to make it right.

I am getting calls about him and how he's acting there's all kinds of speculation about hijm, depression, drugs, leading a double life, no one understands what thw hell is going on with him, including me.I'm suppose to be the woman he loves, god help me, everytime someone supposedly loves me its hell to pay.

I live in constant fear of going back inti the dungeon, he had my electricity turned on in my part of the house, I thought as we all did that this was done to help me with my situation, but as it turns out its for him to have a place to go. He's been pushing me onto letting him move in here with me and I'm not ready, so I guess eventually I'll haft to go back into the dungeon and I'm really afraid I wont be able to cope with that. I sit here still in the same position I've been in all along the only difference is I'm upataris at least in my own area, which isn't mine, its his all controlled by him, I never no when he's coming or going, he sits here on my computer using my internet. talking to other women, playing games all day and night, not speaking or anything, ignoring the dog he got for us for Easter, in which he's hasn't taken to the vet or found out if the dogs been dewormed or has any of his shots. totally irresponsible, I'm so not impressed. He determines when we go out, when we eat, sleep everything, I'm gonna explode!!! I'm sick of being used and controlled by my situation. If I had a car and my own income it would be so much healthier for me, then no one could use me or hurt me in this way. It became so bad with Dan my counselor took me out of town for a weekend and he stayed in my house even though I didn't want him here and niether did mom, but he at least dog sat Sam, that Sam our dog, he didn't take care of Sam and he's been wild every since and he was suppose t o share in the care of Sam but it was another lie, I'm stuck with a dog that I can't take care of or provide for, he got it from his brother, he's soooo cute Sam that is, lol.

I've lost faith and hope in the human race………

If my mom wasn't here I'd say fuck it and be gone.