now first off this is all my fault, all my fault for wanting to reach out to someone and just going at things backwards

So…..my counselor wants me to go away by myself or with friends and with my husband more often. he wants me to rejuvenate.

So i looked for a womans retreat and found one nearby but decided i didn't want to go by myself so invited a dear newer friend of mine from church who is struggling mightly because her husband has been unemployed for three years , recently lost all his unemployment and is now drinking heavily. She is the lady who hosts our bible study and who i have dinner with once a week after my counseling appt.

So out of my babysitting money i paid for the both of us to go. But she didn't say very much about it and didn't seem very excited and i was worried she would cancel so i invited the pastor's wife. The pastor's wife couldn't go

BUT last sunday when i missed church the pastor's wife brought up to everyone in the sunday school room what Carolyn and I were doing. Carolyn tried to tell them that it was a special thing that JUST her and I were doing since we had both been through rough spots lately. (I didn't know any of this had taken place) And later she told me that she had been so looking forward to going and wished she would have told me that.

After church i got a call from one of the ladies in our bible study whose father recently died (she is in her 60's). She told me that Carolyn told her all about the retreat and she wanted to go to and wanted to know what lodge i was staying in so that we could "sleep" together because she can't sleep with strangers, she was going to take Friday off work we could all drive together it was going to be awesome etc etc…..i was floored that Carolyn had invited her because although we are in Bible study together she is a person that you can get too much of, neither one of us hit it off with her really well and we are not quite sure why. (and of course didn't invite her)

Then this new lady tells the other lady in our bible study who is a VERY VERY needy 30 year old and she says she is coming too and she is going to take Friday off.

both carolyn and I tried to tell them that we couldn't all ride together as we were going to see Carolyn's parents on the way there and mine afterwards as they are both on the way.

The second lady ended up not being able to get Friday off and was going to come Saturday and we suggested to the third lady that she ride with her as we had the other plans.

The 30 year old lady wouldn't take no for an answer and it ended up with her parents (whom she lives with) calling and berating Carolyn (neither one of us have ever met her parents) for how mean we are being and that this lady said she would sit in the car or sit at a Starbucks with a book until we were done visiting our respective parents (neither of us could have another person come because of the fragility of our parents) and what was wrong with that and what was wrong with us and finally Carolyn , exasperated and at the end of her rope, said fine you can ride up with us but you are going home on Sunday with the other lady.

I AM JUST ABOUT AT WITS END. i AM SO TENSE AND STRESSED ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING NOW. IT IS A SMALL CONFERENCE AND WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GET LOST IN THE CROWD.

PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS THIS WEEKEND. THAT EVERYTHING TURNS OUT BETTER THAN EXPECTED.

To top it off my little van broke down today and I have to drive our 15 passenger van…