suicidal codependence is what i term staying alive because you dont want to hurt the ones you love. in other words besides being a bit afraid of the great unknown i tend to stick around because i dont want to hurt my mom, 2 siblings, and maybe a few friends and a woman who i am hopelessly in love with as she is with me. getting strong some days i think IT WILL GET BETTER and sometimes it does. a part of me doesnt even want it to get better though. i just want it all to end. i know i have much to be grateful for- my physical health is quite good as where enough folks around the world would give about anything to have things that have been robbed from them or they never had- one example sight. i am so ungrateful. i am sober now, i have a car, place to live, food, i even have a lady close to me who likes to please me and treats me well but my heart and soul are with my true love who is so far from me but i dont know how i can ever make a life for us. my profession has bascially been dissolved. i have the opportunity to go to school but live in fear that it will be a waste since there will be no jobs in what ever field i choose and dont even know what the hell i want to do. america is turning to shit and we all know it and the rest of the world appears to be following close behind. i barley get any joy in anything now days and that includes sex. smiles and laughter are fading memories and when they do come they are so false i feel like a actor. i know i am not alone in my feelings here but the emptiness or as my name implies abyss is gaining momentum like a meteor heading towards a fantastic collision. i dont want to be awake anymore i am going back to bed. yes my real bed not inferring ending things right now.
-
my depression story
maitee, , Depression, Depression, Questions, Suicide, Therapist, 0
So this is my depression story, Hey, I’m maitee and I’m gonna tell you my story, it’s not that...
-
Someone talk to me
caramog, , Depression, Anxiety, Medication, Relationships, 1
Hey.. im new to this site. I had no other choice than to come here. There is no one...
-
Same old mood…
LonelyMe19, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Grief, Medication, Parenting, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
I am new here, but this is a very cool site. Thanks to the creator… A brief history… I...
-
Getting back into dating is NOT helping… much
between_extremes, , Depression, Addiction, Depression, Relationships, Therapist, 0
So, last time I wrote, I was debating on whether or not to go on a date. I had...
-
Motherly Love
itbreee, , Depression, Marriage & Family, Teens, Anxiety, Parenting, Personality Disorder, PTSD, Relationships, Religion, Sex Therapy, 0
It’s been my mother and me for my whole life, birth father was barely in the picture and by...
-
Ouch
hopelessdreamer81, , Depression, Career, Depression, Relationships, Religion, 0
GOSH that hurts- and it totally shouldn’t!! We broke up about a week and a half ago. It ended...
-
So bad: A poem about loss
F1refly08, , Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, Teens, Uncategorized, Sleep Disorders, 0
So bad Board games, electric blue memories of coffee, and morning dew I’ve tried to hide them, but they...
-
Worry
troubledboy, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, 1
I have been worrying about my roommate a lot lately. I know he has his own issues with depression...