I feel like I'm losing it. I've never felt so close to just not being able to handle anything. I feel like I desperately need to talk to someone but when I try or even think about trying I feel stuck. I'm already guessing the reaction and responses I will get and the disatisfaction I will feel, sending me deeper into my hell. I feel like I'm coming unraveled as I type this. I'm finding myself searching endlessly for someone who I cannot go to anymore. For all the wrong reasons, someone I should leave alone. I feel like I've messed up my life and backed myself into a corner. I know people say it gets better and there's hope and you have to try but I don't want to. I can't stand how I am feeling and it goes away when I smoke but then it comes back with avengance and I can't be high all the time, not that it would help but I can't do this I am freaking out. I need help and I don't know where to go anymore. Maybe there isn't anything anyone can say anymore to make me feel better. Maybe I am just at the end and I need to shit or get off the pot. My life is sad, I hate looking in the mirrior, I feel sorry for myself far too often. I'm longing for everything I'll never have becasue I'll never think I'm good enough for any of it. I'm not who I want to be or anywhere near it. I'd be better off dead then living a life of constant disappointment and failure. I can't take living with myself, inside my head in my body. I want it all to stop. I need the nothingness. I don't want to feel or see or know. It's too hard. I want a game over.
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Insecure
nat5678, , Anxiety, Depression, Obesity, Questions, Self Esteem, 0
I don’t understand why I can’t just wake up in the morning and feel pretty or smart or happy....
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None
tania, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Suicide, 1
feel so broken right now, and i hate myself for feeling this way. the awful way i feel a...
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Another Day In Hell
Jason01, , Depression, 0
What am I supposed to tell him? He wants me to stay but I want to go… You all...
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Cold hard truth
Destiny_Smith, , Depression, Relationships, Suicide, 4
For years and years I haven’t wanted to live I’ve hated myself. I’ve hated my life but my whole...
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Mental affliction mixed with debilitating fear
TessErin, , Depression, Addiction, ADHD, Anger, Anxiety, Child, Depression, OCD, Sleep Disorders, Therapy, 0
I have probably written on this topic many times using different adjectives and verbs...not here but on another site...
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New Beginning. New Love. No Meds.
xlostangelx, , Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar, Depression, Psychosis, Relationships, Religion, Suicide, Therapist, Therapy, 0
So Im back again. Just to update this sucker. Lots of new things have been going on in my...
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The essence of the Matter
gotmusicinme, , Depression, Career, Gambling, Therapist, 0
Well a LOT HAS HAPPENED SINCE MY LAST login. I lost the job with Kelly Ann's Day Spa. The...
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My story
kyleighGregg, , Depression, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Medication, Religion, Self Esteem, Suicide, 2
When I was little, I was bullied because I was weird and very very poor. I had 2 friends...