With apologies off the bat if I come across as being overly self-centered with these series of blogs I am going to post here in the wake of the horrific tragedy that occured Friday….going to visit my Dad soon at the hospital…expected to find out how serious the results of his biopsy are from the tumor they had to remove on his bladder a couple of days ago…doctor told us likely one of several different likely scenarios: might have just been limited to top portion of bladder, and would only have to remove that, supposedly not a big deal, and he would just have to come back every few months to get it checked….or might be bad enough to have whole bladder removed, which would be awful of course and greatly reduce the quality of life my Dad would have to live for the rest of his days…or, even worse, cancer could have spread, which obviously would be the worse-case scenario of them all…doctor seems to think it's likely one of the first two scenarios, and even as awful the idea of having his whole bladder removed would be, obfviously would be preferrable to the cancer having spread…extra worried by this due to bad timing on my part of stumbling across an article about an ex-NFL coach who was recently diagnosed with bladder cancer and has only 6-9 months to live….hoping to G-d that when I get to hospital today that not going to get similar news…that we are not going to have to be a family that is going to somehow have to prepare for a definite end to my Dad's life in the months ahead…don't know how in the hell I or the rest of my family is going to cope with that if that turns out to be the case…always felt that somehow my family doesn't deal with crisis situations involving family members as well as other familys do…and obviously, no crisis would be worse than this…guess I'll know one way or another shortly after I finish this blog(s) when I leave to go see him….
Steam-of-conciousness:.Dad, the girl, school, and on being Mr. Almost–(Part I Dad)
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Spoon?
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Anger, Anger, Anger
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Me
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I'm 17 and throughout my life I have been pushed aside, ignored, picked on, ect. I didn't realize it...
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She still isn't talking to me soI talked to her mother today to see how her and the baby...

