So I woke up early this morning, missing my boyfriend Deon. I love that man so much. He has always been there for me, even when we were friends. I love him. We have both been through shit and came out strong. We have gotten through it. Though we still go through things day to day, we always come to each other when we can for advice, comfort, an ear to listen, and he has always…I mean always understood me. He doesn't judge me, and he doesn't criticize me. He gives me his opinion, but he also listens to mines. I love Deon so very much. He is my world. Sometimes I get scared because I have the fear that he is going to leave me, like every other guy and girl has done to me. When I go without talking to him for days, I get sad, like I am now. I miss him. I wish I could see him now. Or hear his voice. He is my world and inspiration to keep going. I love that man so much. He is my man, unless he tells me otherwise. I hope we stay together forever. I hope. Hope is something that I don't do well with, because every time I hope for something, it always falls to pieces. I hope i can continue to trust Deon like I trust him now. I hope that I can be his one and only, and be the one that he will stay with for a long time. I am not trying to pressure him, because I know from experience that guys don't do well with pressure. I just really want this relationship to go really far and to stay tight as possible. I love Deon. I just get really emotional sometimes, and I think it scares him. So I am trying to control my emotions because I have to stay strong, no matter what. I think that I sound insecure right now, but that's why I keep an onlinejournal, called Surviving the Pain, because I am indeed surviving. Surviving the whirlpool of emotions I deal with on a day to day basis. I love you Deon. Got to go..