I don't know if I'm suffering from anxiety or just totally hormonal as I'm about 7 and half months pregnant for the second time, but I'm freaking out. I already have a 19month old who is great, but my bf and I are completely on our own. As in we have no family or close friends. We do have a part time nanny, but I am starting to have my concerns about her. My bf works hard and I really need him a lot. It's too much. I cannot cope on my own and soon I will have a newborn baby to cope with as well. How are we going to manage. My bf is good and trys to help as much as he can, often without being asked, but it's not enough he is just one guy and has a very busy schedule as it is. I am starting to make friends where we are but am a long way off having any reliances. I don't know what to do when I need help. I feel so alone. I feel guilty for feeling alone when I live with two people who are so great. But I feel it's all too much for my bf to cope with. He's tired all the time and lately he'll become suddenly irritable. I never know how he's going to react to something I say. Don't get me wrong he's never violent or anything like that just not himself. I fear it's because I ask too much of him. He goes to work all day then in the evening I need his help around the house and with our son. I am not having a good pregnancy and now when I pick my son up it feels like my stomach is being cut open. I try as hard as I can to carry on, but I'm so tired and so forgetful it's just so wearing. Now I don't know what to do. I feel like someone who is quite disabled, like I literally need a carer. I feel like I need help so much but don't know how to ask for it. I'm not sure what anyone could do? I don't even know why I'm writing this blog, or what I am expecting to get out of it. Just needed to vent I guess.
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When everything is wrong, life feels hopeless
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