As I may have pointed out, my OCD is relatively mild and at the moment very manageable. It gets massively worse with stress and as a bunch of stressful stuff is about to hit me I’m trying to get ready for the rising tide of obsession. I have always refused medication, not only because my OCD is so up and down and most anti-depressants take up to three weeks to take effect, but also on some sort of personal self standard. If you use medication then that’s fine, anything to get you through the day I say, so I have no issue with people that do…my farther is on anti-depressants so I understand that pain. But I’ve also seen that people around me have changed in negative ways after getting on the medication so I didn’t want that and always refused them. I see my OCD as something I have to attack every so often to keep it in check. Reading these forums and blogs over the past few weeks has moved me to step up these times of attack. Yesterday was one such day…..I had to go to the shops on the bus, all told a 3 hour trip, and normally I would have to spend about 45-60 mins checking windows, electrical items and cooking devises before I could leave my home. Yesterday I didn’t. I just walked out of my house, locked the door and left. Didn’t even check I had locked the door like I normally do. Just walked away. I’ve done this sort of thing before and it not very nice…I get flooded with feelings of death and destruction befalling the people in my life, but after a while I calm down and logic starts to step in. The high I get from smacking my OCD about the head in this was is great a I feel proud of myself for not letting it control me and It reminds me that I can and will beat it. I would never say that this is for everyone, but if you think you can do it then I would say try it. I would just say start very small, don’t overreach. The feeling of control really makes it worth it.
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