I feel like writing a blog cause I am thinking so much. These past few days have’nt been good. Not last weekend but the weekend before, I went to stay in a hotel in York. It was a good weekend, but sadly a few days ago, I realised something that is now worrying me loads and I cant get it off my mind. It may sound silly, but I left my much loved koala bear ty beanie toy. I cant explain why, but shes my favourite toy and she always sits at the end of my bed, recently I haven’t payed as much attention to her as I used to because Im getting older, but now I realise I still want her. I think i mind so much because i feel like its my fault for forgeting her, im worried about what will happen to her, i have had her nearly all my life and she is always there for me. Yes. She is a toy. But that doesnt mean that she isnt important to me. And yes, again, i know, there are much more important things but I feel that kolala (her name) is very important to me. Shes a toy that knows basically everything about me lol. I miss her so much. And my mum called the hotel but I dont think they are that bothered, why would they be? I think I also feel guilty and i also think that OCD makes it worse because I am worrying about her constantly and feel so guilty that I left her, I also feel that I cant cope with everything without her because I shouldnt have left her. Ocd makes me feel like it is all me, maybe it is a bit. I just wish wish wish soooo much that I get her back and I am trying so hard to stay optimistic. I hope you dont think i’m silly. I just feel like I need her and i feel like it is just such a stupid way to lose her when i could still have her with me. I keep making promises saying that when i get her back, i wont ever lose her again which i wont. Im happy its the half term holidays now and i wish she was with me. It also makes it worse knowing that she is somewhere, so i could get her back. Dou u know what i mean? Hopefully. Everything seems to remind me of her. I know this must sound pathetic to some of you but its how I feel and I cant help that, I just want to get her back. I wish it so much =] I love you kolala xoxox