Tonight I went to my local bar at around 7:30. I hung out with the regulars that I already knew and had a good time for the most part. At around 9:00, two of my friends came up to the bar that I had not seen since I was about 11 years old. I found them through facebook. I am trying to build a social network since I have been back in Houston a couple of years, and I no longer want to isolate in my apartment. They are good people, but they triggered my OCD due to their actions and manerisms. It was very obvious that we differed in sexual preference. However, I was proud of myself for the way that I handled it. I pretended that I noticed nothing. I tried to enjoy their company. One of them was going out of town the next morning and had to leave the bar early. My other childhood friend stuck around for a while. When I went outside to smoke a cigarette, he followed and behaved very flamboyantly in the smoking area in fron of a girl whom I had seen and was attracted to. Another guy that I had seen at the bar before responded and I was stuck in the middle of a conversation that I wanted no part in. Normally I would have freaked out in this situation. Instead I participated as long as possible, and when I had, had enough, I told my childhood friend"I'm going inside. Ron's Pub is a good place to meet good people." I feel that I got my point accross to everyone that heard the conversation. At that point I walked inside and continued playing video poker with a group of people that I was already hanging out with. I am very proud of myself for the way I handled the situation. I feel that my newly reconnected friends will be less likely to put me in awkward situations because they are aware that I am not gay, and I was able to do it without hurting anyones feelings. Best part… the girl that I was attracted to gave me her number a few hours after the situation occured. If only I could handle every situation like this one I would be the happiest man alive. I truly hope she answers my call and that our first date goes well. I really like her…
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I appreciate you guys reading about my night last night, and providing me with support. Today, I'm pretty anxious. I am very nervous about calling this girl. I get one shot at it to get the date. If the date goes poorly then I will have squandered a great opportunity. I feel like the only time I can comfortably talk to women, without OCD getting in the way, is when I am drunk. I'm really worried about that. If only they knew and accepted my condition right off the bat, then I could relax. It sucks, because when I go out on a date I feel like Im hiding a part of myself from them, and my OCD tells me that they think I'm gay. This condition is like a roller coaster ride. I wouldn't wish the lows on my worst enemy…