I have not blogged in a very long time. I currently have harm OCD with depression. I was diagnosed soon after my son was born. Of course, at that time it was Post Partum OCD. It has been two years and 5 months since I was diagnosed. I have taken my share of medications, and many have helped. However, the medication has not helped all that much. I tried ECT and that didn’t work at all. I currently am taking 300 Zoloft, Resulti, and most recently I have been doing TMS. TMS has helped a little so far. I have had only a week worth of treatment, so I will know more after four weeks. The only side effects TMS has had is a headache and my tongue sometimes feels weird during the treatment.
Anyway, this afternoon I was battling again with my OCD. I was getting very frustrated with myself and with this disease. I just really want to love my kids without OCD interference. Anyway, I was giving my son a bath, and of course, harm OCD comes in and shows me visualizations of awfulness. I am sort of used to it, so it did not bother me too much. But, what did bother me was the continued thoughts of harm. I was getting very frustrated. I did cast my care of my frustration on the Lord. In the past, casting my care sometimes works, but sometimes it does not. So, I was not that confident that my frustration would end, which of course, leads me towards depression; and leads me to doubt God’s love. However, ten minutes later or so, I saw and felt how precious my son was, how precious his life is. The experience was so wonderful. It is what I wanted and what I needed. Life is beautiful, special, and wonderful. It was better than my experience with my first baby. Of course, I cried; and my two year old son said, \”Are you ok?\”
I now have more hope that my OCD will lose its power. I also have more hope that the Lord is working in my life. That the Lord does answer. There is somehow hope.
Related Articles
-
My 1st blog on OCD tribe
stormwarning, , OCD, Domestic Abuse, OCD, Personality Disorder, PTSD, Sex Therapy, 1
Hello everybody, My name is Brian, I'm a 30 year old guy from eastern Kentucky in the Appalachian mountians...
-
-
God and ocd
tryingpatience, , OCD, OCD, Religion, 2
First off I’m a Pastor’s wife. For so long now , before I found out I had ocd, I...
-
Max
Catoptromancy, , OCD, Anxiety, Child, Depression, OCD, Sleep Disorders, Stress, Weight Loss, 0
This is a difficult time. You know, I knew I was depressed about Teddy…except, so much more is going...
-
I have returned!
michaelg, , OCD, Anxiety, OCD, Relationships, Therapist, 1
Greetings fellow OCDers! Its been a LONG time since I've signed on and I apologize for my abscence –...
-
Hand washing is getting bad…again.
jonk, , OCD, OCD, Relationships, 0
I've been a "hand washer" for a couple of years now. At first it just started as a thing...
-
Update On the Kid's Below Us…
Misconceptions, , OCD, Relationships, Stress, 0
So, we spoke with the guy below us, his name is Cole. He asked what had happened yesterday with...
-
OCD is controlling my life
kortnijade93, , OCD, Anxiety, OCD, 1
All I want to do is check that I've locked my car door, I'm 50% certain I locked it...
0 Comments