Growing up, I never had many friends. Now I’m in high school and I only have about two. I don’t talk to the other kids in my grade. I’m not into any clubs at my school and I don’t fit into any “cliques”. I always like to be by myself and do my own stuff. Going to parties, sports games, or even pep rallies were never my thing. I always had my nose in a book or my phone avoiding others. Not like I had anything against people, I just was never the social type. I liked it that way, though. Even at home I was quiet. My parents saw me as the good child since I never caused trouble and never complained. I had no reason to. My mom understood my introverted ways. My dad, not so much. He came from an extroverted family, so to him, shyness and being quiet wasn’t something that was in his vocabulary. It was hard for me since, I am introverted and he always tried to get me to be more social. Music and YouTube was always there to help me, though. Whenever I needed a break from the world, I just put my headphones on and got on the internet. It was an escape from everything. At times, I felt weird for not being as talkative and outgoing as everyone else. Then, I realized there’s so many people talking at once, without even thinking about what they’re saying. I at least think before I act. I made up in my mind that I don’t have to be like everyone else and decided to stay to myself. This doesn’t mean that I don’t occasionally dream about being more outgoing and confident in myself, because I do. If anyone reads this, what are your experiences? Is wanting to always be alone a bad thing?
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I was like you for a long time. I am much older than you are. Have you ever listened to the song “All By Myself”? When I was younger it didn’t bother me at all that I was alone most of the time.
Recently I went back home to meet a lady. I really liked her a lot. She woke a lot of feelings that were lying dormant. She ended up rejecting me but I cannot forget what I felt during the few days I spent with her.
Please get help. No one can have more than a few close friends. But do find a way to maintain good relationship with people in general.
This is an advice from someone who’s lived a lot longer than you.