My name is Jenn and I am so happy to have found this site.

I’m 45, mother of four, and currently a SAHM to a 12-year-old daughter in the first stages of mental illness evaluation.

I have anxiety brought about by PTSD from childhood trauma and abuse.

I really need to talk to someone other than my husband and my therapist.

This past July, as the school year approached, my preteen daughter B* began waking in the middle of the night hearing “mumbling”.  At first it was only one night a week.  Then three.  Then every night.  The mumbling went to whispering, then talking, then yelling, then loud bangs.

A trip to her pediatrician netted her a referral to a child psychiatrist, who then referred her to neuropsychological testing.  That testing is scheduled for next Thursday.  Hopefully we have some answers after that.

We made the decision to pull her out of school and homeschool her for the next two years.  7th grade is already hard enough for someone as “quirky” as B.   We are not going to throw her to the small town teen girl wolf pack until we have some answers and strategies.

For now, we sleep when we can, we talk about stuff (bullying she has endured, how the brain works, lots of MINECRAFT), watch Ghost Adventures (her obsession), and wait until we have some answers.

Parenting someone with anxiety when you, yourself, suffer from anxiety feels like mental waterboarding some days.  I try to talk to my husband, but he is a “Suck it up, Buttercup” sort.   He’s also working two jobs while I stay home with B, so I try not to burden him with my feelings.  When I do, it’s a sigh and a pat on the shoulder.   After 20 years of “dealing” with me, tuning out keeps him sane.

Soon we will have answers and I can make a plan.

Thanks for listening.