I’ve never been a mad person but now I’m easily irritable around my family?? There’s a lot of word-twisting in my family. Ex: dad says “you don’t ever do any chores, I’m always the one cleaning and doing everything”, when that is most certainly not the case. I do so much chores, but it goes unnoticed. Taking care of my drunk friends? Unnoticed. Letting my sister and her boyfriend do the nasty in OUR shared bedroom but the one time I want privacy in my own room? I’m the most selfish person ever. Apparently I never do them any favors. Everything I do goes unnoticed. I’ll admit, I have to do better too which is what I’ve started to do. If a family member gives me attitude, I speak to them calmly to try to resolve it. But that hasn’t worked most of the time. They get even more mad and then I impulsively scream. Definitely something I need to work on. Screaming and throwing stuff like I do when I get extremely upset isn’t a healthy way of communication and it started after my hospitalization this past October. I don’t want to be deemed crazy, I feel like no one understands me no matter what approach I take. My boyfriend and friends have been great, so has my therapist. But I can’t put all of that on my boyfriend and friends. My therapist is very monotone and robotic sounding, and we need to work out timings and all that.
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Parents.
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Dealing with family or anyone you see on a daily basis can be especially hard because you tend to take each other for granted. A solution to your chores issue would be to keep a list and whoever does the chore can put thier initials next to it.
I shared a room with my sister for most of my life. I spent a lot of time outside when I needed alone time. That or I would lose myself in a good book.
Soon enough you will be out on your own. You will look back on a lot of the craziness with fondness.
The most important thing though is to not pick up the habit of keeping score. If you love someone then do nice things without expecting things back. If you leep score you develop into bitter old people who bicker with thier kids about chores.