I left my husband 2 years ago. I was in fear of my life. I can’t proove my case against him. He raped me for 18 years. I took a long time for me to learn to speak up to him. My kids won’t speak to me. The day I left he tried to have me evicted almost. I left at 5am in the morning and drove cross country to see my father for Father’s Day. It took me 3 days. I had no job or money. He paid my way to get here. I could not look at him anymore. I had placed a protection order against him but it was dropped by my first lawyer by mistake. He just wanted his guns back. My current lawyer does not believe me so I have to find another one. It is a battle of he said she said. I even called 911 on him a couple times and they said they would have to investigate. I did not want to cause anymore scenes in front of my kids. He always hurt himself on his motorcycles. I tried to commit suicide in front of him. I have a safety plan in place. I will always be safe with my family. I see a doctor for medication and a counselor every week or 2 now to help me. I think I am a lesbian now and can’t have any man even touch me again. I always watched women’s porn also without him knowing. He kept me alone for a long time. I came out of the closet to my gay friends 2 years ago and my doctor said I should keep hanging out with them. I just jioned the gym for my health and I have had weightloss surgery that he talked me into getting. He fat shamed me for years.