today there was the school dance. I hate loud noises and the music was overwhelming. I hate seeing everyone else being happy and my friends try to cheer me up but it just has the effect of making me feel like I don’t deserve them. I shouldn’t be near nice people because I destroy everything I touch. I’m just a constant disappointment to everybody, I don’t deserve to be surrounded by people who care about me. I’ve never done them any good. I’m just manipulative. Clingy. The weird one. The freaky one. I don’t like the mask I have shaped around myself. I can’t break out, because if they leave me then I’ll be sad and if they stay I’ll feel worse for making them stick around a person like me. I wish I lived by myself so at least I could slowly disappear. No one would even notice I was gone, and if they did, they’d be happy to have one less chore in their life.
Related Articles
-
Why isnt there a garbage man to collect unwanted children?
Im mostly writing on here because i feel like talking, and have no one left to listen. Im hoping...
-
Reasons
When i wrote my last blog i had been doing alot of soul searching and dredgiing up the past...
-
August 8, 2008
I was home all day with Rosie. Today was just so peaceful. We slept almost all day. I felt...
-
NORMAL
Normal what is Normal? 1. Conforming to a norm or typical 2. Of average intellegence or developement 3....
-
Freaking out a little
Ok, so I have to leave early today and go to see the counselor for the initial visit. I...
-
Just had to vent
OH MY GOD! I’m so sick of hearing people’s bitching. And these peopel are normal, fine people. Not even...
-
The curse of my thoughts
So I decided to start blogging again. I guess in a way, I figure it will help me organize...
-
Frustrated …again…
Yesterday I "celebrated" turning 39. It seems like just yesterday I was 25 and free of depression. I wish...
Hello hahaidkwhattoputhere, what do you want me to call you? Do you have a nickname that is shorter than (haha…). Well, my name is Iris and I read your message and I know you’re here and I do care. So there is that., plus we’re both breathing and awake and still above ground..:
❣️
I’d say this is worth sharing a smile, right? I do know what it feels like to feel sad and alone. But you are not alone here, I see you and feel your pain. Just know that you’re not alone okay? Things will get better, things will get better!
❣️
Maybe find someone or something you love like a cat or a friend or a dog… and give them a hug. The great thing about hugs is you can share them : 🙂
❣️
Now I am going make some tea and curl up with one of my cats and a book. Who knows, maybe I’ll nod off for a short nap…. I’ll be looking for you in my dreams okay, i’ll be the drowsy girl with the messed up red & brown hair okay?