Ok, so I wish I could post something positive everytime, but man, I am irritated. Irritated with people taking advantage of me. I guess I put myself in the position agreeing over and over to doing favors, but now it's getting old. I'm just not going to respond to these particular requests any longer. I guess I am just a little tifted at a person who seems to think she is my friend but uses me over and over. She doesn't call me unless she needs something, and if she does something for me it seems like I need to do something for her. I am not down with this friendship. It's really selfish, and in a way it's my fault for not seeing it from the beginning, but I guess sometimes I just think I'm being a good friend, when it's really a one way street. You know I'm here to listen, to lend an ear, to lend a hand with a difficult task, but I am not here to watch your child while you shower, go tanning, or get a message! Are you kidding me? It's a little ridiculous…I guess what brought me to light was the other day when I had agreed to watch her daughter for an hour while she got a message but come morning my son was sick and was going on day three of a fever and I was headed to the doctor and said, "Look, my baby is pretty sick and I am taking him to the doctor can you reschedule?" The response I would have expected was, " I am so sorry to hear about your son, don't even worry about!" But no this is what I get, " Could you be back by 11? She can still give me a message at 11?" Being the slow one I am, I didn't react quickly and said, "sure call you when I get home." Well, his ears were both infected, and a few days later I find out he has rosiola, and his entire body is broken out in a rash. But I agreed to watch her daughter that day, along with my child who probably wanted nothing more then to sit and watch baby einstine all day. I guess mostly I am mad at myself, I have defended this person over the last year, saying I am just trying to be there for her because she is unhappy, and doesn't have anyone else, and I am just getting tired, getting tired of being used. I want to be used as a tool, not a quick fix…sorry everyone for the angry words, I don't usually get this mifted..but I just had to vent..anyone else been in a situation like this before?
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snow, there comes a time when enough is enough. you give and give and give all of a sudden you realize nothing is coming back to you. when something comes along while we're in recovery that messes not only with our addict heads but our peace and serenity need we need to drop that like a bad habit. sheila gave you some wise advice. try it and see what the outcome is. other wise walk the other way.
remember this is a selfish program and we are doing it for us. being taken advantage of is not part of our new way of life. we are in this Recovery thing 100% or not at all. we need to elminate the problems before they drag us back out. i have had people take me for granted and have never paid me back or returned the favors. a couple of them are sponsees but they think because i am their wise old sponsor and they are still sick because they don't have that much time that i don't see what they are really doing. well all of us are not that dumb. i just don't do a lot of people favors anymore and i certainly do not loan money out anymore. the pain we earn is for the lessons we learn. God watches over Addicts, Alcoholics, Fools and Assholes so i guess we are all in good company.
NA hugs,
JJ