Almost a year ago I had a very hard and scary situation to face. I had had panic attacks before but one day in January the anxiety, worry and fear ultimately settled in. I had a major panic attack. I was taken to the hospital and checked, ecg, bloodwork, etc.(of course I was told it is panic/anxiety) After that small tasks became difficult. I was riddle with anxiety and panic just at the thought of taking my child to her daycare and having to pick her up. Driving to the store would initiate a panic episode. By the time I did get to my house I was a nervous wreck and exhausted from the internal/mental/emotional battle. I got to a point when I would rarely leave my house and if I did I would have to fight the intense body sensations and panic to the point I wouldn’t even get out of my car when we reached our destination. That\'s really paraphrasing it!!
It was hard on me, mentally and physically but it was also hard on my family. They would often get mad at me because their support fuel was running out with me. I can understand their frustration and I would never wish for them to have to live through that. But I often wished they knew what it was I was living through. It was scary, depressing and frustrating. I would get mad at myself, mad at my family, mad at my past and the people in it.
When I finally came to a point when I was ready to open the door and look at the situation and see what it is God was trying to teach me I began to turn around. I gave thanks for the limited things I was still able to do and in doing so my abilites grew, and continue to grow. I welcomed God into my life and I let go of all guilt, fear and sorrow. I gave it all to God, and thankfully He was there waiting to take it.
I am so proud of myself, I am an awesome person. I haveaccomplished so many wonderful things sincethat frightening day in January. I continue to growand prosper. I am learning to love myself more and more everyday and that is what God wants us to do, Love ourselves as He loves us. If God brings you to it He will bring you through it!!
My cousin told me a phrase that still to this day resonates with me: God will never give you more than you can handle.
At the time, I held on to this phrase. I did question it, I was convinced He gave me way too much to handle on this one. Looking at how far I have come and how far I will go and the people I will help. God knew what He was doing.
I never knew how strong I am until I had to seek my strength through a source far greater than I, God!
Wow, how great it is to have such an awesome God.
If you are going through something in your life, ask yourself, What can I learn from this? What is God trying to teach me?
I wonder if our tribulations are God’s way of knocking really loud? Go ahead and open the door, only greatness awaits. He promises He will never forsake us……
Take pride in how far you have come, Have faith in how far you can go..