So, A little bit about me.

I’m 17, 18 in a few months. I am a female and I live in Australia. I’m not popular, despite the stereotypical beliefs of a typical Aussie teen, I’m not like that.

I’ve never been invited to parties, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, I rarely go to the beach, I don’t know how to swim or surf or ride a bike or own a scooter or a skateboard. I can’t just do what I want at my free will and I most definitely do not call my parents dickheads or fuckheads. I can’t just jump on a bus or a train and go to the local shopping centre and smoke pot out the back and “borrow” from the local stores. I don’t have many piercings or any tattoos.  I don’t have many friends. I have my girlfriend, I have my best friend of 11 years, a friend I’ve had since primary school and that’s basically all I have to call my real friends.

So what do I live up to with being a typical Aussie teenager?

Have I had sex?
Yes. My ex-boyfriend when I thought I was straight played me and guilt-tripped me into fucking him.

Have I ever been blind drunk or off my head high?
No. I’ve had a few smokes here and there that I’ve stolen from my parents who are heavy smokers and my friend whos starting to smoke. But I’ve never been blind drunk. Not even tipsy. Yes, I do drink occasionally, For a period of time, When I used to make my coffees for school I would fill 1/4 of my cup with 2-3 different types of alcohol behind my parents back, but I’ve never been tipsy or drunk.

Have I ever done drugs?
Once. Again, my ex-boyfriend pressured me into doing it. I have no will power with saying no, that’s also why I fucked him.

Do I respect my parents and their wishes?
Yes and No. Yes, I respect their wishes and them as my parents as much as possible, but something that just gets too hard. My parents absolutely hate piercings, but for my 17th birthday, I went and got my belly pierced. As far as they are concerned, I’ve taken it out when I most certainly have not. For my 18th, I’m getting some more piercings with my girlfriend. Also for my 18th, I want to get my first tattoo.

Have I dropped out of high school at year 10 and gone into hairdressing?
No. I am in year 12, about to sit my HSC and not have my graduation or formal cause of Rona. I say that as if its a bad thing when I really don’t care. I never wanted to go to those anyway, and now I’m not being forced to go. I don’t really like people. My motto is “I don’t like people. People piss me off”…and if anyone who knows me reads this…Hi. You will know who I am now.

“I bet you want to be a hairdresser when you leave school”…
I am applying for TAFE courses to be a personal trainer. But is that what I really want to do?

What do I want to do? What is MY dream?

My dream is to one day open up my own gym. One that is safe for school students, females, males, gays, lesbians, trans, non-binary, mentally unstable, mentally stable, and elderly. I dream of opening a space where people can come and feel safe and transform themselves into their own versions of a badass to make them feel the best way they want. My dream is to also be a professional piercer. For some reason, I love needles and I LOVE piercings. I have so many piercings I want to get done it’s insane. But with my own gym that I open, I want to have an attached piercing parlour. I want to make the space available for everyone, where men can go and workout without feeling judged, and women can go without the fear of being objectified, sexualised and looked at, where elderly can go and not feel the fear of injuring themselves or be hurt by another, where members of the LGTB community can go and feel free. I dream of opening a place that does not discriminate against those who are “different” in society, turns people away cause “I can see your thighs”. And then finally, once I’m of mature age, I want to go to university and study policing, after a few years of normal policing duties and studying at another Uni, I go into the forensic investigation field or detective.

How much of that plan do my parents know?

PT, Policing, forensics or Detective and that is all.
But that is my dream

What else is there about me?

I don’t have my license, Oh and I work in a pizza pasta restaurant near me. I’ve been indecently assaulted when I was 16 by a 27-year-old and sexualised over and over and over again by a bunch of horny teenage boys on my baseball teams. I’ve been discriminated against because of my gender and my culture and religion and now my sexuality. Mentally, I am fucked up.
I’ve been bullied ever since I could remember, Even as a little 3-year-old child in pre-school. I used to be bullied. I was overweight and I was weird because I had culture. I never had many friends.
When I was in kindy, my sister was in year 10 and a year 12 guy was talking shit and taking the piss out of my family and me until one day I stood up to him, where he picked me up by the collar of my shirt and started screaming and yelling in my face, so, I kicked him and punched him. A few years later, on the same day, a kid in my class punched me in my rib and another flicked pencils at my face nearly getting them in my eye. I had bruises on my rib for over a week and the same with the scratches on my face. Did I mention, they were both males? I was doing my work when this kid punches me and then I was reading when next minute I have 10 pencils flicking at my face. I never spoke to those two, but it happened.
By the time I was 13, I got the name of a slut and a whore because I was popular with all the baseball boys, even tho I never looked at them any other way than just a friend and my teammates. In year 7, a girl in my class who hated me started dating the hottest guy in our grade who I was close to because of baseball. I will never forget the look on her face of the day they split and he came to me for comfort. Oh and every other girl in our grade too. He was the type of guy anyone would swoon over. I showed my girlfriend a picture of him, a full-blown lesbian, even she said she would turn straight for him.

What else about me and my family?

My Nonno and my Nonna died before I was born. I carry my Nonna’s name and my Nonno’s genes.

When I was 4, I had an “imaginary friend” and a “special house”.
My imaginary friend we linked to a long lost cousin in Italy who died at the age of 6 and my special house and the people inside I described as my Nonno and Nonna’s house, from Melbourne. I lived in Sydney, never went to Melbourne until I was in year 10 to represent NSW in the national women’s baseball tournament.

I had a very high chance of being born with down syndrome, that’s why my parents are so protective of me, instead of being born with down syndrome, I have an eating disorder, depression, anxiety and I fucked my parent’s lives up. I am heavily involved with baseball and karate which I started ever since that guy touched me.

My passions and my dreams, I got them mostly from my grandmother, the one whos still alive and accepts me.

If it was up to my Nonno and Nonna, I’d be married to some Italian man, dropped out of high school to learn to cook and depend on my husband to bring home money for us and our kids.

If it was up to my parents, I’d be graduating high school at the top of my classes, I’d be straight, Dating and marrying this one guy in particular that they chose for me many years ago, and I wouldn’t like piercings or tattoos. I’d be working in an office instead of wanting to do policing and personal training. I wouldn’t have any mental disorders. I would be perfect by their design.
But my perfect is by my design.

My grandmother, she loves my life plan of personal training, piercing and policing. She accepts me being heavily in love with a woman and she supports me. She loves piercings and tattoos, and doesn’t care about the tattoos I want to get and she loves the piercings I want to get done.

 

I love my parents. They mean everything to me. As well as my girlfriend. My only wish is that they accept me for who I want to be and what I want to be. Who I am and What I am. That’s my only wish for my life and my parents.

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