When your reading 3 little pigs to your kids and you start crying , it hits you that your seriously not ok. And I know why but I can't do a damn thing about it unless someone has some genius advice .Most of my anxiety and thoughts of dying come from driving in the car. I'd never want to kill myself but I get so overwhelmed with life and all the shit in it that I have had those thoughts of crashing and dying.Our car has been dying for the last few months. Always something wrong and were advised by the mechanics that we shoud get something new or newer. My husband will not talk to me about the problem . We can't afford it and have never had a loan ever, so it is a a little scary , but he refuses to talk to me about it. Every time I bring it up he get the shits with me that I'm asking again . I go looking through the computer to find the budget and apparently we should have 400 a week spare so clearly we can afford it .!! Now I have all these fucked up thoughts going through m head that he must be hiding something . I wish I hadn't told him about the depression because now whenever Im struggling he will just think ohhh she's being overdramtic again cuz she's fucked in the head HEDOSNT GET ITSo here I am I already have car issues in my head because of this mental issues and now add all the problems of being so scared driving the car with the kids because it's not safe and m husband won't talk about it , won't fix it , won't get a new one. It's fine for him , he gets to go to work in his new company car ….. Not his problem !!!I'm so sick of feeling like a piece of shit who's feelings and thoughts mean nothing .It's building up for a big fight. I feel so angry all the time I'm having trouble hiding it . I can't even look at him.And tonight he asks me what's wrong ? Cuz obviously Ive got the shits with HIm. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?!!Hs always telling me I over react. I always think he's wrong.Then I think maybe he's right , I'm always questioning myself. Sometimes I hate him

1 Comment
  1. leslie 9 years ago

    8 yrs ago I was normal but ended up with 2 severe things wrong with my kidneys. Then about 2 years later the husband that I thought would love me forever left me, my 2 children and our dog, telling me that I was being over dramatic and not putting enough towards retirement. I know how it is to have a bastard control the money and only have extra for the stuff he wanted. It never hurts to be curious and find out what's going. On. Especially if your kids are at risk of being hurt. Your a mother so go with your gut instincts. I know I can always count on mine. Keep me informed and good luck. I hope I helped a little and will be here if you need to talk.

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