WHO I AM
Hi. I’m Sydney Jackson. I’m African American and from LaVergne, TN. I have a younger sister and step-brother and I primarily live with my mom. I also suffer from depression. Growing up, I was the shy, quiet girl that would always be alone and never talk in class or outside of class. I always knew that I felt different. I didn’t do the same thing as everyone else, I liked doing my own thing. Instead of playing with Barbie dolls and having tea parties, I would play video games and read books. I preferred to be alone and hangout with myself. As I got older, I became more insecure. About my looks, my grades, my interests, I felt boring. Middle school was a rough patch for me. I was jealous of other girls who were prettier than me, smarter than me, more interesting than me. I hated myself and i fell into a deep sadness. At the time, i didn’t know if i was depressed or not. I pushed people away; my friends, my family, everyone that i loved i shut out. Starting high school, things didn’t get any better. I finally told my mom how I felt and she got me a therapist. I tried therapy for a few weeks but noticed that it wasn’t helping. So, I lied to my mom and told her that i was feeling great just so she wouldn’t have to spend money on something i stopped caring about. I’m here because i wanna get help. Whether it be from a member or a professional, i don’t care. I’m also willing to help others. I may not be as good as a therapist but i’m willing to try to help anyone that needs it. I am proud to be apart of the tribe.
I was that same quite girl as a child. People always thought something was wrong with me because I never talked in class and I enjoyed my time alone. I believe that people who are like this tend to be more creative, which is why I am persuing an art related career. I also fall victim to jelousy of others at points and times too. It’s best to remember that jelousy is a useless emotion unless you use it to motivate yourself try looking at the people that make your self esteem fall and learn from them, learn what it it that your admiring that you think you don’t have but can have. Look at the qualities you already possess that make you who you are and strengthen them look long and hard in the mirror and love yourself.
hey, shewolf
I saw your comment and it lit up my day. I didn’t think anyone would comment, let alone read my blog lol. I think its cool you’re pursuing art. I’ve thought about doing something like that as well. Its nice to know that I’m not alone in how I feel. Thank you for the advice, I’ll try to work on my self confidence. Hope you have a good day!