Hello I am new here and I thought I should start by introducing myself.

My name is Vi , I am 28 and a mother of 4. I was raped at age 15 by an older neighborhood boy, I was also touched by my fathers best friend at the same age. I was a teenage cutter, married my high school sweetheart at age 19 and was with him for 9 years then Divorced last July. My 3 out of 4 children live with him, I left him in 2015 because of mental and sexual abuse, in 2014 he was drugging me with my sleep medicine prescribed to me for insomnia and began raping me in my sleep because I was refusing to have sex with him, It took so long to leave him out of fear of him taking my children away from me. Because I never told anyone I was never able to see justice for what he did to me, and he was able to follow through with his threats of taking my kids. He was able to get primary custody of the 3 children last august with the help of his family and a very expensive lawyer.

Everyday I struggle with the thought that I never should have left because, then I’d still get to be with my kids everyday instead I get to have them once a month…..because I am in another state. I have suffered so much over the past year and nothing has gone right for me in the slightest.

I am in a new relationship and have a baby with him, I am now in therapy and see a psychiatrist. I need support more then ever and sadly friends and family don’t know what to say or how to help so everyone just avoids me. I feel extremely lonely and desperate for ways to cope with all that I am bottling up.

I am an open book and would gladly speak to anyone willing.