woke up this morning unwilling to face the day, cat were fighting on my chest, husbands 13year old mutt was howling in the yard, he can barely walk and i wasnt in the mood to go rescue him. i knew my son was going to be awake soon and i dint want to deal with icky diapers and facing the 93 year old wheel chair bound old woman (husbands grandmother) at 7:30 am and my head was screaming as it often does when i wake up with a migraine and covered in sweat from a nightmare. my body and mind crave sleep but everytime i close my eyes the haunts in the dark swoop in to taunt and torment me. so i crawled out of bed to avoid the nightmares, i actually went and made breakfast after saving my son from his crib i ended up sharing half of it with him and in this started to feel better about being awake. hes the entire reason i actually get out of bed so having him laugh and beem at me while chewing down some of my toast felt amazing.when he went down for his first nap of the day i tried something completely out of my box. i am a reutine orriented person and anything different tends to throw me off my game. but i looked in the mirror and was instantly disgusted. i am not "fat" but im not in shape either. before my sone was born i was all of 107lbs i was underweight but being insecure as i am i was alright with it. now after my son ive been sitting at 160 lbs (over weight) so i drumbed up a youtube Yoga video and thought ok here goes nothing… and it was amazing. i couldnt do all the extensive moves but now that im done im flying high. ive forgtotten what exercise can do not only for your body but for youre mood. and now for the first time in a long time im looking forward to the rest of the dday. i might even go out side!!

2 Comments
  1. Andie372 8 years ago

     Wow you have a lot of stress on you.  Pets, dogs, husbands, babies and old people.  I'm not sure I could handle that.  Sounds like you desperately need some "ME" time.  Maybe you could join a gym to get exercise and get out of the house?  

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  2. azmera 8 years ago

    add in no money and virtually no friends and its a cluster f*** of stress. i try and get out of the house everyday to go on a walk with the baby and sometimes one of the dogs. the only me time i getr right now is yoga and painting, its hard but hopefully after the first of the year ill be able to get a job and not be home all the time

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