Hi, my dear tribe members,I had not write anything for a while, I'm here trying no to go crazy, to get back on my feet, I feel like I'm in the middle of a hurricane ( Isaac is close by the way)of contradictions and feelings.         My biggest fight, since I was diagnosed ,is to keep my independence, to be self sufficient, and I'm exhausted, let me start with the fact that I'm on SSDI $1013 a month isn't enough to do that, I already ran out of my savings.          I'm looking for a part time job, I got an under table job, assisting an old lady, who is on oxygen 24/7, I dust,mop,drive,etc but isn't enough money she pays me $10 per hr 3 hrs twice a week, that is just $60 per week, but I need the money, and also like helping this sweet lady.          Im trying to help temporary help with my utilities and rent in FL, what a joke, first I tried “Miracle of Love” was told that they where closing the year and couldn't help me, ( money that is suppose to be available for people with HIV/AIDS) was ref to 211, they told me to contact Orange county crisis center, I did it, explained that I applied for food stamps, SSI,and looking for a part time job, help was denied because I don' t make enough money to pay my bills…that was last July, I left that office crying,I manage to  paid my rent, but also totally ran out of money.            I called Miracle of love a couple of weeks ago,was given the same answer,I was told that their “new year” starts next September (HOPWA resources ) but he wasn't sure about money availability or taking new “clients” I was very upset, he said he will call me if they are able to help me, of course he ref me  to 211 again.           I called 211 was ref to “Center for multicultural wellness” another nightmare, went to an appoiment    last Monday , I had to sign many forms, was ask for a lot of things bank statement,landlord form,proof that I applied for food stamps, job search , section 8,SSI, medical proof of my HIV status, I cried the whole time, them they told me that my undetermined western blot wasn't a proof of my status so I had to be tested ( waiting for the results after diagnosis  and Atripla treatment since 2009 . My doctor's office had to send something to them to proof that I'm HIV pos)            After all this they are helping me with half of my electric that is about to get turn off, (only have $1 on my bank account and $20 cash until I get pay on sep 12),            Rent was denied because my landlord is a foreign investor and doesn't have a SS or tax ID, so how is that my fault, he was able to buy this apartments and I'm only renting from him. HOPWA resources again.            Food stamps was denied because I make too much money…           So here I am trying to be strong and get through this with my “dignity” untouched, very depress,stressed out,worry and all by my  f….g self …