I am about ready to lose it. My fiancee insists that I am hiding something from him, he's insisting that I am talking to other guys and I am not. I didn't tell him the friends that had texted me because I had seriously forgotten about them by the time I got home which to him makes no difference. He says "oh how convenient and ironic that you would forget". Uh, yeah. That sounds farfetched but it is the damn truth and let God strike me down if I am lying!!! I hate this, for once in my life I am telling him the God honest truth. I am telling him everything as it is, I am not sugar coating anything I'm not deliberately hiding anything yet he insists that I am doing it on purpose because I have other intentions. I have absoutely no way of getting through to him and that is really taking a toll on its health. I suspect I have Lupus due to the fact that my mom was recently diagnosed with autoimmune disease and we share a lot of the same symptoms and I feel like I am getting sick due to the stress. I have no time to go to the doctor to get it ruled out or diagnosed but I really need to find out so my fiancee knows that this doesn't just affect me mentally but I'm also taking a physiological blow because of his paranoid ways. Just because his exes cheated on him doesn't mean that I am going to. Doesn't he think that if his exes saw only a slight blip of his psychotic outburts and left, yet I've seen him at his worse (and probably will only get worse)and I still stayed that that must mean something? I've been through sooo much with him, I have cried and pleaded and just been through so much torment with him that he doesn't realize I could easily say F* You psycho I'm out of here. I've seen a totally different side that supposedly no one else has seen yet I'm still here. With the way the world is today, don't you agree that no one would waste their time on that time of person unless they really saw something special in them? That something special being LOVE?!?!?! DOesn't that matter anything at all????
About to Lose It
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I've had it!!
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Tuesday 5th September
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Okay, so life officially sucks. Yesterday I had felt so relieved, validated even, seems like these many years of...
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He didnt notice -.-
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is it unusual to feel used
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FUCK
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When it comes to you Purple pink skies fill in all your lies Cause I trusted you to take...

Does he ask when you wipe your bottom too? Sounds like he has issues with his own perception of reality. It seems if he isn't in turmoil within his life as within his mind, it can't find satisfaction. Yes and No on seeing something special, but I do hope it works out.