That’s it. Enough. Life is pissing me off.

I went out with my ex tonight, and she got pretty drunk, she said I was to blame.

She was openly saying she loved everyone, and she hated me. I really don’t see what i’ve done to deserve this. I spent a lot of time with her, and a lot of my love on her, and all I get in return is a spiteful little bitch who hates me? Fuck it. I don’t need her, I need nobody. I don’t deserve this, I need something better.

I’m drinking a lot tonight, to ease the pain of what she has said to me tonight, fucking hell, I hate myself.. I don’t see what I have done for this to have come about!! I must be a really cuntish person for her to be like she is, although I don’t see what i’ve done to her…

Am I just a nasty bastard who is hated by all? Seriously… We had a son together, we had something, a spark that was us… I don’t understand…

She said she would help me through this time, and all she’s done is make things fucking worse. I HATE MYSELF.

I want to die, again, for the who knows how many time during the past 2-3 weeks… The doctors aren’t doing anything to help. they are being as stupid as she is…

I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!!!!

I WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!

I WANT TO END IT, END THIS PAIN, THIS EMOTIANAL TORMENT!!!!!!

I WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I fucking hate myself!! I am not worthy to be here, I am not worthy to walk amongst these people who lead normal, happy lives without depression and thoughts of suicide. I am not worthy to be typing my thoughts to everyone here. I wish I had succeeded the other night, I wish I had jumped, I wish I had died, none of this would be happening.

I haven’t seen my son today, my ex’s parents said it was for the best… What do they know!?! I need to see my son, to have the motivation to stay alive…

I’m sorry if I do something tonight, but it will be for the best. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, you know what has happened.

Thank you all for your kind words, and help over the past few weeks. I will never forget it.

For now, my friends, goodbye.

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