So any of you that have kept up with my silly lame blogs know that two years ago this time I mostly if not always wrote about a breat up the break up that changed everything about me, I walked away from my faith acted out and damn near just ended it all.

I was wondering the other day why I felt so off, everything about me was off my humor eating patterns, sleep patterns and I felt so manic it was crazy ( That’s been under control for about 2 years) than it dawned on me, Erik I was missing Erik, and the us we had.

It’s awful I am heart broken all over again like it happened today days ago and it hadn’t its been enough time and we chat now not friends but we’re fine the weirdness is gone. But I want him back I want Erik he’s my Luke to my Lorelei, my Apollo to my Starbuck. I have a Christopher ( Any Gilmore girl can understand and sorry if you have no idea what I am talking about its the best way I can explain) he’s great perfect fit and I want to want him, I do but it won’t work he’s not Luke and my heart is broken all over again. This is so unhealthy and weird and I don’t know what to do. I stopped talking to my b/f can’t stand to talk to him, cause he’s not well Erik.

I know that there were so many problems with Erik and I and that in the end it maybe better it did end. But for now he is all I want.

I am so sad and lame