It's been a long long time this time. lol and things have been good for the most part with regards to anxiety anyways. I finished theraphy and I was taking my meds every day. I say was because I've started to slack off on them again and surprise surprise my morning anxiety is back. It's easier to deal with I just feel the anxiety I dont have any thoughts or anything that causes it it's just there. The plan is to get back at the meds again today … I've been unbelievable busy with work and I started running regularly now I'm doing some distance last week I ran a ten mile road race and had a blast . I started taking kickboxing with a couple of girlfriends of mine too so when I'm not working and running I'm kicking and punching lol My greif over jingles is well it's not gone … I miss that little fart on a daily basis and that will never change but I have stopped blaming myself. I treat my cats like gold I treated him like a gem. There was nothing else I could have done for him sadly and goodbyes are never easy. Speaking of which I guess I've learned that from my reacent attemps at dating holy cow. Being single is fabulous ,dating is a terrible terrible thing to have to do I dont know how anyone who gets divorced later in life deals… I think I would just get a couple more cats !! I have a hard time losing people out of my life. I value relationships and friends so much. having to break things off with someone I'm not attracted to that I'm dating ( which I always do face to face I never take the cowards way out no one deserves a " Im not into you " over email or text ) or getting let go by people I'm dating ( which every single one who's done it has done it in the cruelest way possible ) is unbelievably hard. I think staying single is the way to go. In saying that it's crazy how much more independant and strong I feel since me and my ex broke up. I've experienced so much I would possibly never have if I had stayed with him I've been hiking all the time, I did a big biking adventure, a ten mile road race, I volunteer, I am doing kickboxing , I am getting my debt paid off ( since I was footing the bill for my ex and couldnt do so back then … how nieve we can be hey?) so yea being alone is not so bad . Anyways i've passed enough time for my anxiety to lessen and it's time to get ready for work Hope your all doing good and enjoying your summer ..or winter I guess depending on where you are ! <3


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