I am Hiv.  I was 21 yrs old when I find out I was pregnant.  I was dating this guy I knew from my child hood.  I was so in love with him, I thought he was my everything.  I went through alot with him and, he was abusive mentaly, and physicaly.I wanted out of the realionship but, I was afraid of him. He likes to hit women but, it cost me 50%my life.  I am fighting with other 50%. I remember the day I find out I was pregnant , I was so happy and I thought he was to but ,he denied my son.  On August 14, 2001 I was told I was Hiv positive.  I was hurt and I thought I was going to loosed my mind.  He was my first and, my best friend,  How could he betray me like this I asked my myself.  This guy ask me to not to tell my family.  I needed my family right then and, they never treated me no different.  I thought I was going to die, along, depress, asking myself why me.  I know I can\'t question god but, I am a good person. My son was born on Feb 05 ,2002 he is hiv negative .  God answered my prayer. Tristan is the center of my life.  My son is the reason I get out of bed .  Tristan has came to far , for me to leave.  I am living life now and,, love has found me. I am am married to a man who has accepted me for me.  I never knew  what love feels like until now.  I am living life and, yet grateful to be alive !!!!!    I am free from hurt and pain catching Hiv was the only way out so I say once again I am free…… God Bless

4 Comments
  1. Gapeach 12 years ago

    This hits so close to home. I also married a man that I fell in love with, he was my heart and soul and also very controlling and abusive. Not  physically but mentally. I stayed married for six years and five of those years I wanted out so badly but was also afraid to leave. I did everything I could to make the relationship work and finally just gave up. I ended up cheating on him with another man which I know is so wrong. I cant justify it other than I did what I needed to do to get through life. Me and my husband seperated in April of 2008 and in July of 2008 I found out that I also was hiv positive. I was crushed but handled it considerably well. I thought it was a death sentence and I love life to much to go yet. I then learned that it’s not what it use to be and you can live a fairly normal life. The man I cheated on him with we are still together and I don’t know who I actually got it from which at this point doesn’t really matter. I also found true love and have never been happier. My biggest fear is losing him and then not being excepted by anyone to love me. I don’t want to die alone. So to hear that you found love and he excepted you for you put a smile on my face. Love is so hard and so heartbreaking sometimes but can be oh so wonderful also. Thank you for the words of inspiration. This website has been so encouraging in the lowest points by the kind words of people that dont look at you as a statistic. Luckily my family the ones who know have also been very great to me and have stood by my side the whole way. But sometimes it does feel like they look at you diffrently and until you experience this for yourself you could never put yourself in someones shoes who has. I am learing to love myself again and everyday gets brighter and brighter. Thanks again.

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  2. wildwoman 11 years ago

    Hi KeKe, I was amazed as I read your blog. I was infected by my partner, testing pos. in 1989 at 28 yo. I am now 48 and live a wonderful life with my 7 yo son who was born on feb.5, 2002 . H e is also healthy. What a blessing. What a miracle.!

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  3. keke 11 years ago

    tears omg thats a blessing

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  4. keke 11 years ago

    thanks everyone

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