This hits so close to home. I also married a man that I fell in love with, he was my heart and soul and also very controlling and abusive. Not  physically but mentally. I stayed married for six years and five of those years I wanted out so badly but was also afraid to leave. I did everything I could to make the relationship work and finally just gave up. I ended up cheating on him with another man which I know is so wrong. I cant justify it other than I did what I needed to do to get through life. Me and my husband seperated in April of 2008 and in July of 2008 I found out that I also was hiv positive. I was crushed but handled it considerably well. I thought it was a death sentence and I love life to much to go yet. I then learned that it’s not what it use to be and you can live a fairly normal life. The man I cheated on him with we are still together and I don’t know who I actually got it from which at this point doesn’t really matter. I also found true love and have never been happier. My biggest fear is losing him and then not being excepted by anyone to love me. I don’t want to die alone. So to hear that you found love and he excepted you for you put a smile on my face. Love is so hard and so heartbreaking sometimes but can be oh so wonderful also. Thank you for the words of inspiration. This website has been so encouraging in the lowest points by the kind words of people that dont look at you as a statistic. Luckily my family the ones who know have also been very great to me and have stood by my side the whole way. But sometimes it does feel like they look at you diffrently and until you experience this for yourself you could never put yourself in someones shoes who has. I am learing to love myself again and everyday gets brighter and brighter. Thanks again.