my counseller took me to A&E…again. but this time she dropped me off outside and i had to force myself through the doors. and battle my tears and fears explaing to the receptionist! i took an overdose last night..a whole box of paracetamol. after being told i'd already done acute damage to my liver! i didn't think at the time..sort of thought of it as a game! "like sweeties" i literally ate them with my strawberry flavoured milk…i've just eaten for the first time today, its 22.45 i had soup and bread and i already feel 10 times better!

i tried to enjoy my time in hospital..its the only place i feel safe! but i couldn't stop my brain panicking! what if my mum finds out?! she can't know i've done this..im fine. i was discharged within 6 hours..which is quick compared to my last visit! i told the psyciatrist i was fine so i could go home, so she claimed me fit, i was unwired and let free! only problem i was stuck there, blood all over my clothes from where my vein leaked after the blood test 🙁 bandaged up my arm. but i felt safe still..i phoned for a taxi to my friends house where i would meet her and she would pay for my fair as i had no money! This is where my day took a turning point!!!! I went to give her a quick hug but she didn't let go, she started crying! i had NO idea she was so worried about me, she started telling me what had been going through her head all day at work..what if i didn't wake up? i cried aswell..i can't believe how selfish i've been :'( this girl – my best friend – DOES care about me..thats a good enough reason for me..gonna take 2moro off work to recover completely..and im getting my hair highlighted and a massage on thursday! yay….

thankyou to all my friends on here aswell, its good to be back! i hate being away from my computer!!

please dont worry, i am safe tonight, i gave my last box of paracetamol to a friend tonight so i don't have anything to cause me harm..

xx