I am very anxious and frustrated, which makes me very on edge and I don't like anything to go wrong during this period of time because then I will flip out. I will scream at and anything and everything if it doesn't go my way. I took my some of my medication earlier to help calm me down. My body is like on high octaine or something. I don't even know what word that is, it just seems to fit.

I have two papers to write this weekend. One at least five pages and the other at least eight. I have more papers after that to due. One that is due on thursday. Two more due the following week. People will say well you should of started earlier. And I would like to tell them to f*ck off. I just mean in general to anyone who would say that to me. I didn't wait til the last minute. I got books and research weeks ago though I am just now able to start looking into it. Why? Because I write on average 2 papers a week and I have other reading and had a big test to study for. So I am stressing– big time.

I have tried to look at my books available and have tonight. I am just so agitated that I can't calm down. I just want to take a bat and smash something to pieces. I think maybe I had too much sugar in the past 2 days too, mostly yesterday though. I can't try and do something else to relax. I'm too agitated to relax, I can't relax until I get some of this paper done tonight.

I am writing here now just because I feel like I'm going to self-combust if I don't get some of this out now. I think I'll pop in another xanex.