So my anxiety has been high. I had to be nice and help a friend with his book of poems he wants to do. So that means I have to do all the calling I have the hardest time calling people. Then I have to type up all the poems and call back the printing place to make sure I get it right. This is going to be the biggest test for me. I just hope I am not a let down and am able to help my friend in a timely manner.
Then my fiance after not hearing from him in a month decided to write and told me he does not understand why I am on lithium and wants me to stop taking them unless I want to mask and numb the problems. Then he goes on to tell me I'm not the first woman to have issues but meds are not the answer and ain't nothing wrong with me. That I may have problems but I can fix them on my own without meds. I clearly told him why I was on my meds and I tell about my anxiety and panic attacks but he just blows it off or does not listen/understand. If I have trouble doing something cause of my anxiety or trust or opening up trust me he will let me know he is a very blunt person and his words can be harsh. If I tell him there is a nicer way to tell me these things he turns it around on me and everthing is my fault always. I mean he is right one a few parts put thats my anxiety holding me back and I am trying hard to fix myself but if he keeps knocking me down it's hard. I know I should cut things out of my life that cause me even more anxiety, stress and depression but I have this problem with being alone hmm Idk I'm so confused.