I havent had an anxiety attack since Sophmore year of highschool and i'm 21 now. Well last night me and my husband went to a party where most of his squad was there. well Somebody brought Spice. If you dont know what spice is its the knock off legal version of weed. annnnnd of course i didnt want to do it. It messes with my anxiety really bad….like super bad. So my husband and allllll his friends peer pressure me into taking a hit. Not a good idea because me and one of my friends starting talking about our condition she's on meds for her anxiety and i'm not. Well cigarrette smoke is one of my triggers. I usually always have a handle on my anxiety and can control myself and not freak out from it. Yep the spice f'd me up from one hit

alll of a sudden, even though i was outside with everyone I felt like I was in a crowded room and all i was breathing in was smoke…smoke smoke smoke. No one was rubbing it in my face or purposely blowing smoke in my face but i felt like every exhale ppl took the smoke was right in my face. Suddenly ppl started to notice and kept asking if i was alright.

Nope I ran inside and accidently bumped into my husband but just kept going. I could feel it that feeling like your heart is going to explode. like someone is sitting on your chest. I started hyper ventalating my husband came to find me just in time. I felt like i was dying and i couldnt calm down.

Eventually I did though. I felt so embarassed. I am so glad and thankful for my husband. He held me looked me in the eyes and kept saying everything is ok remember your breathing techniques and your training. He was right. I immediately did the exercises that my therapist taught me should i ever get into the situation i was currently in. Thank god.

ugg thought i had a handle on things but it just goes to show how much this is a sickness that doesnt go away. How at a moments notice the anxiety can come at you full blast. I'm so glad that i did go to therapy that I did know how to calm myself down and be ok the rest of the night….I forgot how scary anxiety attacks were tho. man…sucky


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