Hey ok so umm these last few years I haven’t been very truthful with u. I may say I’m fine but I lie. I don’t wanna lie but I do. My thoughts get to me, they hurt me, they change me. I didn’t want to tell u over text like this but for the last year or so I’ve talked with online mental Health counselors they have all told me that I should talk to someone close to me about this but I’ve been scared. I’ve been scared to tell u what I’ve been through in the past. I try my best to fight my thoughts but I lost once and as a punishment to myself I cut. I made a small cut on my wrist in 6th grade to show my self that I failed. U never noticed it because I knew how to hide it. I haven’t done it since. I promise. I also recently will stay up until 3 or 4 just crying and looking at a pill bottle. I could never do something so horrible to myself but I have thought about it. I could never hurt the people I love like that. Last night I spoke with a counseler I told her everything I explained things about u and Janelle and Tristan, I explained my family and my childhood, she recommended me to talk to people who r close to me and to kids who have been through why I’ve been through. I’m now talking to some very supportive kids who r very helpful. I’m telling u all of this to be honest. I don’t wanna lie anymore. And I’m sorry for not being honest. I love you ❤️

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