You find yourself struggling to breathe at times of panic. Wether its a social situation or a simple scenario in your mind. You stress about things weeks maybe even months in advance and you imagine the worse possibilities in it all. It's crippling, it really is. It ruines relationships and oppurtunities. It becomes this overwhelming blanket that suffocates you day through day. When it gets really bad you're unconsolable. Everything is ten times more intense. All you can think of is the un ending "what ifs" running through your body, leaving you chilled and frightened. Anxiety has been my worst enemy since i was about 7. Its been way more active in my life these past couple years though. It's always been more of a social anxiety for me. Before everything i say to someone i contemplate it for atleast a couple minutes. Unless i am extremely comfortable with you. I struggle with speaking up or simply asking questions in class. Sometimes it even keeps me from enjoying life and going out with friends. I find myself isolating in my room with my music, which seems to be one of the only things that soothes my nerves. When i finally do want to go out, and things are going fine.. I just want to be back home again. in my room. isolated and alone because only then i cannot make a fool out of myself or be judged. it's safe i guess. My anxiety keeps me from going out with guys and starting new relationships. When i really like someone i want to be with them all the time, but i catch myself being too afraid to hangout or see them. What if they see me and decide they are no longer interested. What if i say something stupid. What if i freeze up and dont say anything. That is a deal breaker for me right there. So i makeup excuses of why i cannot hangout that day. Such as, "im not feeling well", or even extreme as lying and saying "i have other plans that came up". When i know i will not be doing anything that night. I've found that the best way to get over this obstacle is by forcing myself to go through with the plans and forcing myself to get ready and follow through. Yes, i have a small panic attack by doing so, but it's the only way i can overcome my fears. One more thing that really helps with my social anxiety is telling myself this. JUST HAVE 6 SECONDS OF COURAGE, THATS IT. what this means is, whatever it is you want to say or do, count to 6 and then do it. I make silly promises to myself like once you count to 6 you have to do thisor you don't love your mom. sounds stupid but of course i love my mom, so i count to 6 and in that last second i follow through. This may sound outrageous but i'm telling you right now, this works. Maybe not for you, but it is worth a shot.


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