So, i dont know what to do. My ocd has exploded into an unfathomable abomination that i cannot deal with, period. dont know if it cuz the meds im on are making it worse or what however, i do know this: every new obsession that pops up, i cannot handle and i not onnly suffer immensely but i end up suicidal, confused, and just, i dont even have words for it. currently, and the reason im posting, i guess in some desperate reassurance seeking ritual but at this point i dont rlly care i need help, i am obsessing that because i was talking to someone, and told them how nothing helps anymore, talking, distraction,hanging out with friends, that the little bit they do help, wont help anymore. to elaborate on that, i said how they dont help, which is mostly true, thy barely do nd its horrific, then i realized, they do help jsut very little and not much, so i specified that to the person i was talking to, however, it was too late, and i waas worried that little bit it does help, will no logner helpp anymore. as a result, im worried ic an never feel pleasure, happiness, be able to laugh of smile, feel relief, feel like nything helps, ever again. to the point where im obsessing when i eat i wont feel betteror relieved from my hunger, which obviosuly isnt possible, but it will feel so wrong that it wont matter, and im scared this wotn go away. if i cannot distract myself with things, which is alrddy hard enough because of the constant ocd obsessiosn and compulsions ruining it for me and screwing me over, then i will not be able to live, period. and i guess im posting this as a desperate reassurance seeking ritual, trying to reassure myself that it will go away, which probably ownt even help no matter who tells me it will but im going to ask anyway, do you all think this will fade away? i really have no idea what to do, even if i fight it, im gonna be so screwed up but the turmoil it wil lcause not only by making everything feel screwed up which is to be expected, but by cutting me out of contct with reality to an extreme, that idk, words cannot even describe what it will do to me, and i feel liek if i let go, ill never get aanything bacck that ocd has taken fro me or ruined for me so… idk what to do 🙁 help please

2 Comments
  1. quiltingdreams 7 years ago

    Hi. I am sorry that things are really tough right now. The truth is it may not go away BUT it does at times get easier and it seems that it can be manageable. I havent figured out yet how to stop the rituals or the constant thoughts but for me ive noticed the severity comes in waves. Just DO NOT give up. There is hope and there are answers we just have to find them. One thing I can tell you for certain is that you are NOT alone. OCD is a jokester and a deceiver. It tries to fool us into believing the lies it tells, it likes to warp the truth. I almost at times think its like looking at the world through a fun house lens. It distorts thoughts, the way we see things..the way we see ourselves. You are strong. Take one moment at a time. Breathe. Focus on one thing that you are grateful for (it can be anything..family..sound of birds chirping..smell of frush cut mowed grass..a song you love..this group..ANYTHING) and when things seem impossible turn your focus on to that positive. If you need anything im just a msg away. -Melissa

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  2. rainingoctober 7 years ago

    I am going through the same thing. When it hits me, nothing can snap me out of it, and then I realize I've been sad, scared, and nervous like this for most of my life. Doing certain things helps move the anxiety to the back of my mind, but it never disappears. I hope we find ways to cope with it. Hang in there.

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