This is my first post so Im just going to try to keep it short. Im 22 I have anxiety and I really dont know what to do right now. I mean I have anxiety to the max like any possible symptom you can think of I probably have it or had it. Im at the point now where I cant really sleep at night. When I do try to sleep thats when its the worst sometimes like I get chest pains where it feels like electricity is going through my heart. My feet twitches and my neck is always stiff and tense. I have eye floaters, diffculty concentrating and major headaches. I get pain in my legs sometimes and I get sensitive in certain areas that I am focused on sometimes. Like I often focus on my neck and when I touch it it like stings. I have gotten rashes on my legs. I often feel lightheaded and dizzy at times. My brain just feels fuzzy all the time. I have a major panic attack in the last month. That has been the scariest experience in my life! I honestly thought I was done and on my way to see Jesus lol.
This has been going on for over two years now and I had gotten it under control but I just think that was only because I was smoking major weed and drinking a lot of alcohol so that kind of masked the symptoms for me but recently that stopped working and Ive quit smoking and drinking because it kind of defeats the purpose for me now and only agitates my symptoms. In the past semester in school I have lost a child and suffered a major financial crisis and that has sent my anxiety through the roof. Not to mention school and constant health concerns. You see I have been really sick over the past summer and havent entirely gotten well. I have gotten a really bad white toungue thats kind of like thrush but isnt. I have had for the past two months and its getting better now but still hasnt totally went away. This has made my anxiety even worse since I have been nervous about having HIV or something. I have been tested several times since my last possible exposure. One was 5 weeks afterwards and another was about 9 or 10 weeks after possible exposure and both have came back negative. The docs have told me that Im ok and they dont think that what I have is HIV related but my body has been really out of whack and I dont know if it has been due to my anxiety or something medically with my body. My docs say that is was possibly due to malnutrtion, alcohol and substance abuse for the white toungue but that doesnt explain everything. I just worry constantly about this because it feels like Im dying and Im afraid that the docs may have missed something that could be possibly going wrong. Anxiety can really suppress the immune system so Im like in a catch 22 where Im anxious about being ill and getting ill from being anxious. Ive been seeing a therapist but at this point nothing helps but Xanax. Like when I take it Im perfectly fine and the only side effect I have is drowsiness but I can live with being drowsy and getting sleep then being sleepy and cant sleep.The docs dont want to give it to me anymore cause they dont want me to get addicted but its the only thing that helps at this point. I just dont know what Im going to do lately Ive been feeling really helpless and feel like giving up on life. The only thing thats keeping me motivated is school and my Bible but even that goes out the window sometimes when my anxiety is at its worse. Well I guess thats it for now thanks for those who decided to sit and read all this. Until next time.