Hey everyone, college is hard. I’m in my second semester of my freshman year, and I don’t know how I’m going to get through these next three years without having a complete mental breakdown. Luckily, I have a cat. Cats help. I like to think of her as my therapy cat. She was there for me all through shitty high school (excuse my language please).
I keep telling myself I can do this. You can do this, you can do this, you can do this. You can get all A’s and B’s, you can become more outgoing, you can make a group of gal friends and get involved on campus. Well, I’m almost done with my first year and I haven’t achieved most of those. I truly felt like I had my shit together my first semester. Got all A’s and B’s, wasn’t AS terrified as I usually am about socializing. This semester through? Yikes, yikes, yikes. I currently have two C’s. A 76 in Spanish and a 78 in English. Funny. It’s not that I don’t try. I try really really hard. I’ve been trying to tell myself it is ok if I end up with a final grade of C. Sure, it will bring down my overall GPA, but that doesn’t represent the motivation I have to achieved my career goals. Alas (did I use that word correctly? C in English, remember?), I have a lot of anxiety about ending up with any C’s. I’m doing great in my other classes, but it’s not enough to satisfy my mind. It seems like everyone around me in doing great in their classes. I know that’s not true, I’m sure people are doing worse than me, but goddamn my mind. It never stops overthinking and getting itself into an anxiety filled mess.
OH, I’ve made one friend. Yes, one.
Speaking of my one friend, I’m about to go have dinner with her at this hopping place downtown.