Everything has been extremely difficult lately. More so than usual. In the past seven years, my life has been spiraling downhill no matter what attempts I have made
I’ve lost pretty much all my friends and family, my fiance, my last boyfriend cheated on me and got the girl pregnant (he ended up breaking up with me and chose her, so I guess he’s taking responsibility), lost my job because of a bad knee injury which has now created it very hard to find another job, was drugged by two friends who had sex with me, witnessing the unexpected death of my grandmother, as well as the facing the deaths of my aunt, uncle and several very close friends.
Now I learned yesterday that our house is about to go into forclosure. We’ve already filed for bankruptcy months back. If that’s the case I’ll have nowhere to go. No friends or famiky members to stay with. I’ll have to lose my pets and I may end up homeless.
I’m not even sure what to do anymore. I’ve been fighting for so long, but just end up losing in the end. I’ve tried several therapists, been on numerous medications (it’s extremely hard to find anything because I am usually allergic or end up having reactions from most medication I’ve taken), but nothing has helped.
I don’t think anyone realizes how heavy this has been mentally and emotionally. Everyone expects me to be this strong person, be there when someone needs me. I’ve been trying to do so for so long, but handling other people’s problems along with my own has been a huge weight on my shoulders. Everything is catching up to me physically. Sleeping is next to impossible, I suffer from constant bad headaches, nauseous and eating is something that’s getting harder to do.
I still want things to change, but I’m at a loss as to plan my next move. I’m afraid if I don’t figure out something soon there won’t be anything left to do.