Okay- Apparently I have attachment issues. I swear to you, everytime I meet a new guy I end up getting SOO into him, and thefeeling is mutual.. and then eventually the feeling passes and he dumps me. Seriously, third time in 6 months? wtf? I am such an incredible hopeless romantic, that when I feel a connection with someone it's intense, crazy, passionate.. you name it. I broke up with my boyfriend about a week ago, and for some reason I am REALLY depressed about it. I mean, like, I broke up with HIM.. why am I upset? I think it's because he wasn't completely devastated like I hoped he would be (is it wrong to think that?) It';s like, he didn't even care. And that hurt.
Also, there's this otehr guy that keeps popping in and out of my life. Its like.. one minute he calls me and says, "Monica I'm 100% that I want htis relationship with you.. you are the one, seriously." And then a week later, he like, barely calls me. I don't understand. And this cycle has been going on and off for like a year. I wish I could be strong enough to just say no, but I can't. I let him in everytime.'
So add all this stress to my life on top of anxiety ,and what do you get? One stressed out anxiety driven chick. Something happened today, where I got out of the bathtub.. and I was looking in the mirror and then got a HUGE dizzy spell, felt lightheaded, and had to run to the bathroom to throw up. I'm not sure what that was all about, but it FREAKED ME OUT. Like, seriously, I couldn't eat or do anything the rest of the day because of it. I hope this was just a fluke. I'm stupid and went on WEBMD and found out that it could be a possible brain tumor. GREAT. Just what i needed to hear. I know its not, but a tiny part of my brain is like….. what if?
I have been doing SO WELL with my anxiety, I would hate to see myself fall into this awful trap again.