So… I thought I will say whats on my mind. When I look at things and try to come to terms with the variety of things, people and possibilities in life. So many choices on how to deal with it and which direction to go. We all have issues and struggles and we all try to understand and come to terms with things, people etc. Dealing with everyday life, dealing with how to manage what I have and what I could have. Somehow I have a kind of blueprint in my mind, how in a way, or abstract construct I hope to mould my life – or have it all fall into place in certain ways. The difference between now and somehow achieving these ideals can be seen as the measure of my current happiness, unless for some brief moments or spells I am absorbed in the moment and forget my plans. We can all be viewed as falling short of perfection to some extent. Whether self imposed or from outside pressure. The fortunate ones, if there are such individuals, can see themselves and their circumstances as perfect just as they are and accept it all. My issues tend to be with integrating things, having some kind or harmonious interplay. Seeing the bigger picture can be great although it also makes life appear more complicated and presents bigger challenges. I will attempt to at least get my life straight and working well. Challenges can help me grow. My problem is that challenges can be tiring too and I had enough of them already. True, people's capacities for coping can vary according to the individual. I can only do what I can and if that sounds like a cop out, I don't really mind. Peace and joy may come at a price. Maybe that price is worth paying too.


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