I stayed up late to finish a paper I had to write and then promptly set my alarm clock for the wrong time. As a result, I won't be able to make it to campus on time to help my team fold our prints for tomorrow's presentation. One of the girls messaged me to ask if I'd be able to make it on campus to help and I was just honest with her – I stayed up late working on a paper, must have gotten tired and confused, and set my alarm clock for 11:30 so I can't get there on time. I feel bad because she's the only one showing up even though I intended to. The other girl hasn't been answering any emails and I'm not sure why so now this girl has to fold 45 copies of this paper by herself. I asked if she wanted me to rush in because 45 copies is a lot and she said not to worry about it. I think maybe she feels bad that she might not make it to the actual presentation because she mentioned it and I told her not to worry about it.
The ex and I are still bickering due in large part to my temper. He still tries to take care of me though and sometimes I completely cut him for it and then feel bad about it later. I haven't worked out in two nights, I've been in too bad of a mood.
My crush is quickly becoming something of a jerk in my eyes. He logs onto Facebook reguarly to add new friends but hasn't added me yet. He has over 40 students on his friends list just from this school alone and you know what? I'm decently good looking, I'm smart, I'm kind, I'm a hard worker, etc. and if that can't get a person accepted on Facebook then that isn't where I want to be. I used to use that site a lot and then I stopped. The only reason I got back on it was to check that guy out and now I feel like crap. My self-worth is tied up in whether he clicks Accept or not and apparently he hasn't so I've been grumbling around for days. I'd say it's time to stop logging in. And if anything, this has just made me realize that, in his eyes, someone like me – who, in all honesty, is just fine (although I know I don't and won't always feel this way) – isn't good enough for someone like him…which makes him something of a stuck-up brat. I knew he was sort of self-absorbed, I just didn't think he was arrogant on top of it.
You want to know something interesting though? Normally, I am spot on in regards to reading other girls. I know them pretty well while my ex never tries to read other men. But when I told him about this guy, he judged him as self-centered and asked me not to pursue him. He said that if I need to date other men either to get whatever is aggitating me out of my system or to move on, that's okay, but just not that guy, I'd be disappointed. When I told him that he seemingly rejected me and lamented, "Oh well, I knew I was out of his league", he got sort of angry and said that the problem wasn't with me, it was with him because he's arrogant and self-centered but that girls always go for that type anyways. For once, his judgement of someone else was, apparently, really in-depth and entirely on point. I should have listened…
I've got a terrible headache. Oddly enough, someone was rolling something down the hallway an hour ago and the squeeling sound it was making so intensely high that it woke me up and actually frightened me. I thought something in my bathroom was going to explode. -_- A sign that I was supposed to WAKE UP? Possibly but I missed it and went back to sleep… Annnd that is precisely what I am going to do now – go back to sleep.