So of course, after a weekend filled with rain, it's sunny and hot here. But at least we did get some time in at the beach yesterday, so I won't complain too much.

I'm worried about my friend Michelle. She was very quiet and distracted yesterday. When we were alone I asked her what was going on and she said she couldn't talk about it. "Why not?", I asked her. "I just can't.", was all she would reply. The whole afternoon she kept quiet, except for a quip now and then against my husband, who kept irritating her. He could tell that she was unhappy too.

She and I don't keep secrets from one another, so this has me really worried. I know she's angry at Mike for something, but won't talk about it. I'm not sure what, but I hope in time she'll feel safe enough to put it in words to me. I don't like to watch her hurting and not be able to console her. 🙁

Speaking of friends, my so-called friend Mindy has disappeared off of the map. I've tried calling her numerous times over the past week or so, and never get an answer or a text back. Aaron says she's home ~ he drives by her place everyday on his way home from work, so I have no idea what's going on with that. I'm going to try to contact once more, but after that I'm going to let it go. If she doesn't want to work out whatever problem it is we're having then it's not a friendship worth saving. Still, it makes me sad. I don't have many friends, and to lose one is a blow to my heart. But I can't say I didn't try. And the worst part is that Zachary loses his best friend too. It's an all around sucky situation.

I'm really worried about Peggy, my Mom's cat. Although she's on meds for her pancreatitis and slowly regaining her appetite, she's not regaining her strength. And she can't walk without falling over within a few feet. It appears her back legs aren't working right. Something else is going on, and I'm afraid we are going to have to put her down after all. This is no life for anybody. If it doesn't get better, we're going to have to make that final heartbreaking visit. I so don't want to do that. I brought her out onto the porch with me because she can't come out here unsupervised anymore because of her limited mobility and severely bad balance issues. She has to be watched at all times. Right now she's sleeping so she's happy. At least I can give her that much… 🙁

Today has been a slow day so far. Haven't done anything but drink coffee and played on the computer. Pretty soon we're going to head into town and return that shirt and I may take him to Wal-Mart to spend some of his allowance on a toy. Then we'll see if I'm still up for going to the library. I'm not down, but I'm not up either. I just don't have much motivation today.

My Mom was a different person after her nap yesterday, thank God! I was still bitchy though. I eventually got over myself and watched an awful movie with Zachary (which he just loves) to spend time with him and then got ready for bed. I played with Zeke and Trigger some, and then got them all set for bed too.

I put Zach to bed for the night, and then laid down myself. Aaron had to leave for work in about and hour, so we just laid there and talked quietly for an hour about everything and nothing. Mostly finances and feelings, lol; what a combination! I was really sad when he had to go, but my puppy laid up against my sad and I stroked her fur and wrapped my arm around her for comfort. She stayed with me the whole night. I so love my dog. <3

I don't know if we'll be going to exercise tonight since Aaron will have worked 16 hours on almost no sleep. He'll probably be too tired to, and I can't blame him for that. But it still bums me out. I really do look forward to the exercise and the endorphins it brings, not to mention the family time together. Zachary is losing his little belly with all the bike riding he's doing there, and I'm only 3 pounds away from my first weight goal! I'm so happy about it! I don't want to let it slip by not going.

I'm listening to a song called "Brave" by Sara Bareilles, one of my favorite musicians. It talks about not holding back on your dreams and not giving in to your fears. My favorite line is"Say what you want to say, let the words fall out ~ Honestly, I wanna see you be brave!". That's going to be my mantra for today. 🙂

I wish you all a good Monday.


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